Some Things Never Change

For the first time since my 1yr lock anniversary, I found myself utterly aggravated with my locks over the past weekend. Honestly, I even considered getting rid of them. I was pretty shocked about this, but I really shouldn't have been. Why would I think that just because I have transitioned into locks that I would be at peace with my hair? It's not like I was at peace before locks. Prior to locks, my hair and I would more often than not be on the outs. Every now and then I come across a picture of times when my hair looked very nice. But I know that is just hindsight because the truth of the matter is this: before locks I was always trying to get my hair to be the way that I wanted it to be. In most cases, it wasn't long enough, wouldn't curl right, wouldn't hang right, unless of course, it was freshly done. And how long would that last--two to three days, maybe. When I would get bored with it, I'd go with ponytail extensions, braids, color, maybe a cut. Around and around this cycle would go.

Then came the lock transition. Boy, that was the toughest time in my hair history! However, once my hair fought itself into actual locks, I guess I was just glad to be done with that in-between stage. Now I have some length to play around with, added some color to jazz things up and bit. Things were going really well, or so I thought. Then came this past week.

First, my scalp was itching like crazy. Unsightly flakes were popping up everywhere. I was majorly aggravated. Sure, I knew that once I washed it and oiled my scalp, the problem would cease to exist, at least temporarily, but still I was irritated with the "in the meantime" period. Anyway, I wash my hair, but didn't feel like retighening it and knew it wasn't likely that my loctitian could fit me in on short notice, nor did I feel like going over there anyway. I know, I didn't give myself a lot of room for contentment. It was just that kind of weekend, but nothing I hadn't experienced in my pre-lock days. However, there is one major difference.

You can't decide out of the blue that you don't want locks anymore because you're having a bad hair day. Just like one has to seriously consider growing locks, one has to seriously consider removing them because once they're gone, they're gone. Here are some things that I thought about over the last couple of days:

1. I'm only 18 months into my locks. There's so many styling options just waiting for me as they grow longer.

2. What would I do if I removed them??? Go back to straightening my hair (i.e. hair breakage, damage, etc), sitting in the African shopping for hours as they dispationately yank on my hair putting in zillions, and even worse, having to style my hair every morning. Ohmigod!!! I can actually stop right there, but there's more.

3. When I attend the African World festival next summer in Detroit, Michigan, I would be so angry with envy looking at all of the beautiful locked pride if mine were all gone.

4. What would I be going back to? Oh, I already mentioned that, didn't I? LOL! But that's a serious one.

Today, I'm feeling good about my locks. That's not to say that I'll always have locks or that I'll never go back to the straightening days. This weekend I was reminded that while my hair has changed, I have not. I'm the same as I have always been, locks or not. I gte tired of the same ole same ole. I love change. I thrive off of reinventing myself. After years of living in the box of other people's expectations, it's refreshing and invigorating to just be going with the flow!

Til Later...L.A.