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Friday, October 30, 2009

A Surprising Payout

No one could have been more surprised than me when my name was pulled for the grand prize of a 26in flat screen DVD/Combo television. I was attending a talent show for which the proceeds benefit an annual Christmas party for Detroit's homeless children. It's an annual event presented by the AT&T Pioneers and the QSA Foundation, two organizations in which I volunteer for regularly. This is the fourth year of the talent show and the 2nd show that I attended. What's ironic is that I very close to not attending the show. I always support it financially, but this year I was on a committee and my friend's daughter was a contestant so there I was. And, boy oh boy, was I glad I was there or the t.v. would've been given to someplace else!

So, you see, it pays to support events that benefit the community at large. You never know how you'll be rewarded :))

Til Next Time...Author L.A. Jefferson

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Charles Pugh Controversy

Every morning I tune into Inside Detroit to get my daily dose of what's going on in and around the city of Detroit. It's informative, oftentimes entertaining, and surely full of controversy. As the city of Detroit is in the last days of it's most recent general election for the offices of mayor, city council, and the city charter commission, the fire is definitely getting hot! Most recently one of the leading city council candidates, Charles Pugh has been outted as one of the thousands of Detroit's irresponsible homeowners facing foreclosure. The controversy is whether this personal travesty should or will effect his lead position in the race.

I'm on the nay side of that coin. This is not just because I'm a supporter of Mr. Pugh, but more so because I don't believe the way in which a person handles their personal finances is necessarily indicative of how they will handle financial responsibilities pertaining to their job. It's hard for me to believe that those who have allowed this recently released story to retrack their support of Mr. Pugh REALLY believe that everyone who works in a financial area, whether it be public or private, are handling their work financial responsibilities the same as their personal financial responsibilities. That is absolutely absurd!

It's unfortunate how people take advantage of these kinds of stories to cast judgement on others. I was in awe of the judgemental comments that I heard from people on the radio. The gist of their comments went along the lines of:

1) Since he's running for public office, his personal finances are the business of the people and the people have a right to judge how he will handle the city's financial concerns.

2) If Mr. Pugh receives late notices, threats of eviction, that is indicative of his lack of integrity and responsibility.

Give me a break people! Whether or not Charles Pugh pays his mortgage of any other bills in a timely manner has nothing to do with how effective he will be as a council member. Now, if he was delinquent in city taxes (income or property) that would be a different matter entirely because that has a direct impact on this city.

It is beyond me why people are acting like facing foreclosure is the end of the world. First and foremost, anyone can face this situation AND some even place themselves in that situation as a strategic move against the mortgage company. Why are people acting like they don't know this! I know people personally who have let their homes fall into foreclosure so they could purchase more affordable homes OR so they could force the mortgage company's hand into modifying their loans.

This is not rocket science. Some candidate who is NOT a frontrunner for the #1 or #2 position on city council put that story out there to try to bring Charles Pugh down. I guess we'll see on November 3rd if it worked.

Stay tuned!

Til Later...Author L.A. Jefferson

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Was the 3lbs Worth It???

I knew it was a bad idea from the start, but I just couldn't help myself. If nothing else, I needed to face the consequences of my actions. My birthday was this previous weekend and I celebrated with plenty of good eats: fried shrimp & crab legs, mashed potatoes, salad, cake, cake, and more cake, AND cookies, cookies, and more cookies. Yes, I went overboard and the scale confirmed it. Thank God it wasn't a horrific increase, but an increase nonetheless. This morning I'm faced with the question of "was it worth it?"

Yes and no. One thing I learned over my years of bodyshaping is that you can't beat yourself up too long for over-indulging in whatever your weaknesses are. My weakness has always been sweets. To my credit, I don't eat them anywhere like I used to eat them! The fact that it was my birthday and I was getting some much needed relaxation from the usual ripping and running that I normally do on weekends is an exception that I'll gladly accept. Now the "no" part of the answer stems from the acknowledgment that the way I treat myself on special occasions has to change. Just because I'm relaxing doesn't mean I have to relax AND eat nearly a package of chocolate chip cookies. Instead, I could've spent that Saturday afternoon sipping on a warm cup of coffee--far less calories and fat.

Anyway, it's just about a full week since my birthday and I'm back on track. I'm working on not eating after 7pm, keeping the sweets to a minimum, and moving more (especially those abs).

Til Later...L.A.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Coworker with a Bad Attitude

Yesterday I was so fired up about the blatant rudeness of one of my coworkers. What kind of person can't--let me say WON'T--even open their mouth to say "Good Morning" to a fellow coworker. Not because there's been a problem between the two of you, but just because she doesn't feel like she has to. I don't feel like I HAVE to speak to people at work. It's just COMMON COURTESY and ANYONE with any kind of DECENCY would do so. UNLESS, of course, you have some SERIOUS mental issues. That's exactly what I think is wrong with this particular young lady. I won't take her lack of manners personally as I am, by far, not the only person in the office she treats this way. For some ungodly reason she seems to believe that she is superior to most of the people around her. Since I am person who tries to figure out and understand things, I've got to let go of trying to figure her out and instead pray for her because God is the only who can help her. I know one thing is for sure, she does not DESERVE any more of my emotional time, so from this dday forward she doesn't exist to me, EXCEPT on my prayer list.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Some Things Never Change

For the first time since my 1yr lock anniversary, I found myself utterly aggravated with my locks over the past weekend. Honestly, I even considered getting rid of them. I was pretty shocked about this, but I really shouldn't have been. Why would I think that just because I have transitioned into locks that I would be at peace with my hair? It's not like I was at peace before locks. Prior to locks, my hair and I would more often than not be on the outs. Every now and then I come across a picture of times when my hair looked very nice. But I know that is just hindsight because the truth of the matter is this: before locks I was always trying to get my hair to be the way that I wanted it to be. In most cases, it wasn't long enough, wouldn't curl right, wouldn't hang right, unless of course, it was freshly done. And how long would that last--two to three days, maybe. When I would get bored with it, I'd go with ponytail extensions, braids, color, maybe a cut. Around and around this cycle would go.

Then came the lock transition. Boy, that was the toughest time in my hair history! However, once my hair fought itself into actual locks, I guess I was just glad to be done with that in-between stage. Now I have some length to play around with, added some color to jazz things up and bit. Things were going really well, or so I thought. Then came this past week.

First, my scalp was itching like crazy. Unsightly flakes were popping up everywhere. I was majorly aggravated. Sure, I knew that once I washed it and oiled my scalp, the problem would cease to exist, at least temporarily, but still I was irritated with the "in the meantime" period. Anyway, I wash my hair, but didn't feel like retighening it and knew it wasn't likely that my loctitian could fit me in on short notice, nor did I feel like going over there anyway. I know, I didn't give myself a lot of room for contentment. It was just that kind of weekend, but nothing I hadn't experienced in my pre-lock days. However, there is one major difference.

You can't decide out of the blue that you don't want locks anymore because you're having a bad hair day. Just like one has to seriously consider growing locks, one has to seriously consider removing them because once they're gone, they're gone. Here are some things that I thought about over the last couple of days:

1. I'm only 18 months into my locks. There's so many styling options just waiting for me as they grow longer.

2. What would I do if I removed them??? Go back to straightening my hair (i.e. hair breakage, damage, etc), sitting in the African shopping for hours as they dispationately yank on my hair putting in zillions, and even worse, having to style my hair every morning. Ohmigod!!! I can actually stop right there, but there's more.

3. When I attend the African World festival next summer in Detroit, Michigan, I would be so angry with envy looking at all of the beautiful locked pride if mine were all gone.

4. What would I be going back to? Oh, I already mentioned that, didn't I? LOL! But that's a serious one.

Today, I'm feeling good about my locks. That's not to say that I'll always have locks or that I'll never go back to the straightening days. This weekend I was reminded that while my hair has changed, I have not. I'm the same as I have always been, locks or not. I gte tired of the same ole same ole. I love change. I thrive off of reinventing myself. After years of living in the box of other people's expectations, it's refreshing and invigorating to just be going with the flow!

Til Later...L.A.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Making the Most of this Time

I have these moments more often than I admit and certainly more often than I take advantage of. I'm speaking of times alone in my house without my children. Unfortunately, the times are not that long, but even still it is of the upmost importance that I take advantage of it.

Usually when I have these times I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm running here, running there--sometimes going to the gym, or grocery shopping. If I stay home, I'm attempting to clean up or cook or anything related to the house. Sometimes if I have a good book around, I'll get some reading done.

Now, there's nothing wrong with any of the things listed below IF I didn't have something of an urgent nature to do. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm talking about writing. I'm always complaining that as a fulltime, working single mother of two, the one thing I don't have enough time for is writing. So, today, at this moment, while I could be working out, catching up on laundry, cleaning my kitchen, or retrieving my fall wardrobe from storage in the basement, I'm going to put my money where my mouth is, if that makes sense. As soon as I finish this blog entry, I'm pulling out my pad & paper and getting some writing done on my current writing project: Reconcilliation to Hell.

Wish me luck! Hopefully, if I don't get distracted, I'll make some progress that I can be proud of.

Til Later...L.A.

P.S. Please forgive me for not proofreading this entry, but I gotta get busy :)

Heavy Heart

It's interesting how God can use anything to bring HIS children into thankfulness. Lately, I've noticed that I become quite discontented whenever I'm in my house for long periods of time. There's no mystery why this is: I need a bigger house! The fact that I'm already a homeowner in this down spiraling Michigan economy is the biggest obstacle I face when trying to make this happen when I want it to. Anyway, I was down in the dumps about my situation the entire weekend. All I could think about was how much I want my children and I in a bigger place and a better neighborhood. Then, here comes Monday morning on the drive to work. I'm listening to talk radio as I usually do, right? Well, this morning the talk was about all these thousands of people standing in line in hopes of receiving an application to apply for aid for mortgage and utility payment help. My heart instantly hurt for all of these Michiganders who have lost their jobs or experienced a cut in wages, or people who earn low wages. My heart hurt for the challenges they are facing. BUT, at the same time it was an instant reminder of how BLESSED I am. Sure, I want a bigger house. HOWEVER, I am still gainfully employed, have the luxury of all of my utilities, and am not struggling to provide for my family.

Gratefulness was not the only emotion I experienced on this morning. I also felt charged to help out those in need. It wasn't long ago that I used to desire to work in the nonprofit sector, doing work that was really helping people, not just making shareholders richer. I already spend time volunteering with my community by supporting certain causes and making donations to charitable organizations, but I feel charged to do more. I want to have an impact on the community in need. I'm not sure if I want to create an agency of my own or just get involved with an existing one. What I do know is that I want to look past my own circumstances and help others in need.

If God is blessing you, you can too! I'll see you in the community.

Til later, L.A.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Do You Watch Mad Men

Two wrongs don't make a right, right? Can it depend on the circumstances??? Okay, I know that doesn't matter. But, as I sat watching one of my favorite Sunday night dramas, Mad Men, I found myself rooting for the wife of one of the main characters to cheat on her husband. Sounds terrible, right? Let me explain. This show takes place in the 1960's and is all about the lives of these ad executives. One of the main characters, Don Draper, is a habitual cheater. It doesn't matter that his wife is a former model, great mom, attentive wife, etc. He just can't seem to keep IT in his pants! Matter of fact his last affair occurred shortly AFTER his wife found out about the one before that.

Since last season, the writers have had this wife having attractions towards other guys. Last night, she even kissed someone! I was like, "Yes!" Maybe after she gets a little something on the side she'll regain the confidence often lost when your spouse cheats. She just can't let her husband find out or else she may cease to exist--you know men can't take what they dish out.

I can't wait to see what's going to happen.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Kids...What are you gonna do with them?

There comes a point in every mom's "mommy" experience where enough is ENOUGH! I have two lovely children: 14yr old daughter & 5yr old son. I love to them to LIFE, but they know they can work my nerves!!! Let's start with the teenager. She is very lucky that my overprotective mother deprived me of a lot of socializing opportunities during my teen years. It wasn't very often that I was hanging with my friends outside of school, and I won't even touch on the school activities I didn't participate in--that's an entirely different blog altogther! Anyway, since it's important to me that she enjoys the fullness of her youth, I'm extra lenient allowing her to invite friends over, meet friends at the mall or movies, etc. Not only do I allow her the activities, many times I'm shuttling her and her friends to where they are trying to go. So, please tell me why do I get these crazy facial expressions and loud sighs when I ask her to clean out my car or clean up the kitchen (the kitchen is her regular responsibility, which she half cleans most of the time). Believe me, this is rhetorical question. She's a teenager and they don't appreciate ANYTHING!!! I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that I need to change up how I was dealing with little missy. After the 1st wknd of September I set a repeating reminder in my iPhone that there would be NO ACTIVITIES for the teen for the rest of the month. It was funny, too. She'd asked to do something and when I said no, she was like, "Why?" My reply??? Old faitful, "Because I said so." LOL!

Next for the 5yr old. My little boy is just the cutest thing! Really!!! With those bigh brown eyes of his, he has been getting away with some STUFF! He has broken things and not been seriously reprimanded. I've noticed him becoming a little sneakier and manipulative. Yes, I know these things are all apart of him growing up and learning what he can and can't do, but mommy has had to start getting with little man! This year, with my daughter on an early schedule for school, he has to wake up earlier than he did last school year. Therefore, I've established a set schedule for him that I'm still working on adhering to. I've been hitting the mark more often than not, which is a good thing. Bath time is at 7pm, last call for t.v. is 7:30 to 8:00, then lights out.

Back to the behavior. A few weeks ago, I noticed a necklace I bought at Christmas was broken. He admitted that he did it "by mistake". Not long before that, he broke a curtain rod "by mistake". Then, last week he damaged a special umbrella that I had just bought. That same week, he put a tear in my car interior. The final straw was when he cut a hole in his school pants the other day. I was so ticked off! No way was I accepting that he did it "by mistake". Yes, he got the spanking for that one and the curtain rod, as a matter of fact. I warned him that there would be more spankings to come if anything else came up broken or damaged. The real downer of this issue with my son was that I was looking forward to showing him a good time this coming weekend. We were going to go to an arcade on Friday, bowling or skating on Saturday. Boy, he was going to have a ball! He messed that all up. Now it looks I'll just be shopping for my daughter's homecoming dance dress and some winter clothes for all of us :( Quiet is as kept, I would've preferred the arcade and bowling :)

Til next time...

L.A.

Weekend Recap

I know everything happens for a reason and because I'm a child of God, I also know that everything that happens is meant for my good. Well, none of that made me feel immediately better about how out of control my weekend became! It's not that it was soooo bad, but it just didn't go my way. First, my body finally surrendered to my 5yr old son coughing in my face throughout the week. I woke up with the scratchy throat syndrome. Then, since my son had had the cough for over a week, I decided to take him to the doctor. Plus, he needed a haircut AND I had plans to drop my daughter off at the mall with her friend. Then some family stuff surfaced on Sunday, which is REALLY the day I like to chill! Therefore, the weekend that I had planned to relax and recover from the tiresome previous weekend was everything but.

HOWEVER, in the end everything was in divine order. The things that interrupted MY plans of the upmost importance: my nephew's 1st b-day party and a family dinner in celebration of my visiting great-aunt from Memphis, TN. As much as I complained about the infrigement of my intended R&R weekend, I was glad to have had the time with my family.

God-willing, there will be other weekends to sit back and relax or maybe do some major house cleaning that my house is in serious need of.

Til next time...

L.A.