Shopping Woes

I love my daughter. I really, really do. But oh...my...God, I can't wait until I don't have to take her shopping anymore. Whenever we go, more often than not, both of us want to do nothing less than strangle the other. Is this just a me and my daughter thing or just a mother-daughter thing? Either way, I don't feel good about it.

The biggest part of the problem is my daughter and I are like night and day. Where she can spend hours upon hours in the mall, traipsing from one store to the other and back again, I can only withstand, maybe, one or two stores. The other problem is that I avoid spending large sums of money at one time.

My daughter would love for me to be like her paternal grandmother and one of her friend's mother's, who prefer to spend an entire day shopping for EVERYTHING needed for a particular reason (spring/summer, school clothes/supplies, fall/winter). For me, that's too much money to spend at one time. I like to have something in reserve for unplanned events rather than spending a large portion of my check on clothes. The way I see it, the clothes aren't going anywhere, so why do I need to buy them all at once. And, in this economy, the stores are always having sales.

Just like my daughter would love for me to be like someone else, I'd love the same of her. I wish she was more like I was when I was her age. I didn't give my mother anywhere close to the lip that she gives me when things aren't going her way. You know, I grew up in that "you don't have an opinion" era. When we went shopping, it was never because I bugged to her no end about it. We went when she said we went, and I was totally okay with that. Well, my daughter, is entirely too opinionated and vocal to be like that.

Since neither of us can change the other, what do we do? I'm sure she has no considerations of being a quiet, agreeable young lady, so I guess that leaves the changing up to me.

Believe me, I'm always thinking of how I can make these experiences more enjoyable for both of us. I've found that I do well when I'm prepared for shopping, mentally & financially. If I can be consistently firm on the issue, not taking her out when I really don't feel like it, I know things will be fine. Now, she may be unhappy when she can't go when she wants to, but she'll definitely benefit from shopping with a mother who's not frustrated and angry because she's doing something against her will.

In all of this, there is a light at the end of tunnel. My daughter is 14 years old--working age! If all goes according to plan, we've already got her summer job lined up. She'll have her own money and be able to spend it, somewhat, as she pleases. Yes! Yes! Yes! Honestly, I don't know which one of us is happier about that.