I love my daughter. I really, really do. But oh...my...God, I can't wait until I don't have to take her shopping anymore. Whenever we go, more often than not, both of us want to do nothing less than strangle the other. Is this just a me and my daughter thing or just a mother-daughter thing? Either way, I don't feel good about it.
The biggest part of the problem is my daughter and I are like night and day. Where she can spend hours upon hours in the mall, traipsing from one store to the other and back again, I can only withstand, maybe, one or two stores. The other problem is that I avoid spending large sums of money at one time.
My daughter would love for me to be like her paternal grandmother and one of her friend's mother's, who prefer to spend an entire day shopping for EVERYTHING needed for a particular reason (spring/summer, school clothes/supplies, fall/winter). For me, that's too much money to spend at one time. I like to have something in reserve for unplanned events rather than spending a large portion of my check on clothes. The way I see it, the clothes aren't going anywhere, so why do I need to buy them all at once. And, in this economy, the stores are always having sales.
Just like my daughter would love for me to be like someone else, I'd love the same of her. I wish she was more like I was when I was her age. I didn't give my mother anywhere close to the lip that she gives me when things aren't going her way. You know, I grew up in that "you don't have an opinion" era. When we went shopping, it was never because I bugged to her no end about it. We went when she said we went, and I was totally okay with that. Well, my daughter, is entirely too opinionated and vocal to be like that.
Since neither of us can change the other, what do we do? I'm sure she has no considerations of being a quiet, agreeable young lady, so I guess that leaves the changing up to me.
Believe me, I'm always thinking of how I can make these experiences more enjoyable for both of us. I've found that I do well when I'm prepared for shopping, mentally & financially. If I can be consistently firm on the issue, not taking her out when I really don't feel like it, I know things will be fine. Now, she may be unhappy when she can't go when she wants to, but she'll definitely benefit from shopping with a mother who's not frustrated and angry because she's doing something against her will.
In all of this, there is a light at the end of tunnel. My daughter is 14 years old--working age! If all goes according to plan, we've already got her summer job lined up. She'll have her own money and be able to spend it, somewhat, as she pleases. Yes! Yes! Yes! Honestly, I don't know which one of us is happier about that.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Chilling Out
Today when I got off work, I headed to my mom's to pick up my children. They'd spent the night over there. Well, I've been working early hours this week, and each day after work, there's been something to "do".
Not today, I declared to myself on the drive to mom's. Chilling out and relaxing is the name of my game for this evening. I'm even giving the kids a day off--actually, giving myself a break from barking out orders all evening long :) Kids would never believe it, but fussing can be overwhelmingly frustrating.
How can I not stop and enjoy the beauty of this summer evening? The humidity of the last few days is gone. Right now, I've got a nice, cool breeze coming through my windows. I'm posted up on the couch with my laptop, my iPhone, and a nice tall glass of water, preparing to watch one of my favorite programs. This is what summer is all about!
Saturday was the last day I went to the gym for a rigorous workout. Although, we're at the end of the week, I'm not pressing myself to hit the gym today or the workout on the RiverWalk, either. Nope. I'm chilling. If anything, I may take a nice walk after dinner, further enjoying the summer breeze. Then again, maybe I'll just continue relaxing on the couch.
I figure, since I can't take a vacation at a moments notice like I'd like, I at least owe myself a vacation from the, oftentimes, self-inflicted daily stresses of ripping and running after work.
Thank you Jesus!
Not today, I declared to myself on the drive to mom's. Chilling out and relaxing is the name of my game for this evening. I'm even giving the kids a day off--actually, giving myself a break from barking out orders all evening long :) Kids would never believe it, but fussing can be overwhelmingly frustrating.
How can I not stop and enjoy the beauty of this summer evening? The humidity of the last few days is gone. Right now, I've got a nice, cool breeze coming through my windows. I'm posted up on the couch with my laptop, my iPhone, and a nice tall glass of water, preparing to watch one of my favorite programs. This is what summer is all about!
Saturday was the last day I went to the gym for a rigorous workout. Although, we're at the end of the week, I'm not pressing myself to hit the gym today or the workout on the RiverWalk, either. Nope. I'm chilling. If anything, I may take a nice walk after dinner, further enjoying the summer breeze. Then again, maybe I'll just continue relaxing on the couch.
I figure, since I can't take a vacation at a moments notice like I'd like, I at least owe myself a vacation from the, oftentimes, self-inflicted daily stresses of ripping and running after work.
Thank you Jesus!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
WorkOut on the Riverwalk
Radio station, WGPR 107.5, has been hosting a weekly FREE health initiative, RiverWalk Workout, on Thursdays at 6PM. It's been going on since early June, I believe, but this past Thursday, was my first time participating.
Things started out cool. Donna McFay, radio personality, began with a brief warm up, followed with some stretches. Next, there was an option of a low impact cardio workout with her or a more advanced workout with professional trainer, Glenn Lot Jr.
I've had a personal training session with Glenn once before. I knew his workout wouldn't be a walk in the park, so when he lined those of us up who chose the more advanced workout, I prepared myself for the intensity to come. At least I thought, I'd prepared myself, but I had NO IDEA what was about to come.
Glenn said, "We're going to start with a light jog. Everybody line up. The goal is to keep up with the person in front of you," he said. "It's not a competition. Just do your best." Before we got started, someone asked how far we were going. "Aww, we ain't going nowhere." That was his first lie!
The light jogging was going okay, until we kept going, and going, and going. Eventually, I asked one of my fellows joggers, "How far are we going?
"To Cobo Hall," was one of the replies. Cobo Hall! I didn't know the exact distance, but I knew it was further than I could jog. I began losing my breath. I had to stop. I needed to walk. But it bothered me as I watched the others continue. However, I understand my body well enough to know when I need a break. So, I walked awhile before I got the courage to begin jogging again. When I finally reached the rest of the group, they were running up & down the stairs of Joe Louis Arena.
"Ohmigod," I said aloud. "That's alot of steps." Nonetheless, I was up for the challenge. Afterall, I was no stranger to stairclimbing. Just about every day, at work, I walk up & down 5 sets of stairs.
Hmph! There was no comparison. It was tough. I didn't make it all the way across, but I did the best I could. After the stairs, Glenn, directed the group in series of exercises, including hopping up the stairs, lunges, then jumping lunges, squats, then jumping squats. He had us do some other stuff, too. Unfortunately, by the time he was ready to move to perform some upper body work, I was DONE! I couldn't do anything more. I had pushed myself to MY max. That, I'm confident in, no matter how, intimidatingly, Glenn glared at me. I understand his role as a personal trainer to push the trainee. However, I, as the individual, must adhere to the signs of my body, and know when I need to slow down. I wasn't there to pass out from overexhertion.
At the end of the workout, I didn't want to look at Mr. Glenn Lot Jr. His attractiveness and bulging muscles were not enough to make me think pleasantly of him, at that time. Yes, I was that heated! I'd never exercised like that in my life. For real ! I was so burnt out, I didn't even think I was going to make it back to the group's starting point, let alone, be able to drive home. Trying to walk back to the group's starting point, I had to sit down, twice, to catch my breath and get my bearings.
By the time I made it home, I began to feel better. In fact, I was feeling quite accomplished. Although, I was unable to do EVERYTHING that Glenn instructed, I did put my best foot forward. I'd say I completed 85% of the workout. That's not bad for a first timer. Right?
I have some pretty high fitness goals. And it's gonna take intense workouts, such as the one I had on the RiverWalk with Glenn, to reach them. So, while the workouts are grueling, they're a necessary evil. And, once or twice a week of that kind of intensity is just what I need. Therefore, after all my groveling and complaining, Mr. Glenn Lot Jr will see my face on next Thursday.
We only have a few more weeks of summer. Come on down for the challenge.
Things started out cool. Donna McFay, radio personality, began with a brief warm up, followed with some stretches. Next, there was an option of a low impact cardio workout with her or a more advanced workout with professional trainer, Glenn Lot Jr.
I've had a personal training session with Glenn once before. I knew his workout wouldn't be a walk in the park, so when he lined those of us up who chose the more advanced workout, I prepared myself for the intensity to come. At least I thought, I'd prepared myself, but I had NO IDEA what was about to come.
Glenn said, "We're going to start with a light jog. Everybody line up. The goal is to keep up with the person in front of you," he said. "It's not a competition. Just do your best." Before we got started, someone asked how far we were going. "Aww, we ain't going nowhere." That was his first lie!
The light jogging was going okay, until we kept going, and going, and going. Eventually, I asked one of my fellows joggers, "How far are we going?
"To Cobo Hall," was one of the replies. Cobo Hall! I didn't know the exact distance, but I knew it was further than I could jog. I began losing my breath. I had to stop. I needed to walk. But it bothered me as I watched the others continue. However, I understand my body well enough to know when I need a break. So, I walked awhile before I got the courage to begin jogging again. When I finally reached the rest of the group, they were running up & down the stairs of Joe Louis Arena.
"Ohmigod," I said aloud. "That's alot of steps." Nonetheless, I was up for the challenge. Afterall, I was no stranger to stairclimbing. Just about every day, at work, I walk up & down 5 sets of stairs.
Hmph! There was no comparison. It was tough. I didn't make it all the way across, but I did the best I could. After the stairs, Glenn, directed the group in series of exercises, including hopping up the stairs, lunges, then jumping lunges, squats, then jumping squats. He had us do some other stuff, too. Unfortunately, by the time he was ready to move to perform some upper body work, I was DONE! I couldn't do anything more. I had pushed myself to MY max. That, I'm confident in, no matter how, intimidatingly, Glenn glared at me. I understand his role as a personal trainer to push the trainee. However, I, as the individual, must adhere to the signs of my body, and know when I need to slow down. I wasn't there to pass out from overexhertion.
At the end of the workout, I didn't want to look at Mr. Glenn Lot Jr. His attractiveness and bulging muscles were not enough to make me think pleasantly of him, at that time. Yes, I was that heated! I'd never exercised like that in my life. For real ! I was so burnt out, I didn't even think I was going to make it back to the group's starting point, let alone, be able to drive home. Trying to walk back to the group's starting point, I had to sit down, twice, to catch my breath and get my bearings.
By the time I made it home, I began to feel better. In fact, I was feeling quite accomplished. Although, I was unable to do EVERYTHING that Glenn instructed, I did put my best foot forward. I'd say I completed 85% of the workout. That's not bad for a first timer. Right?
I have some pretty high fitness goals. And it's gonna take intense workouts, such as the one I had on the RiverWalk with Glenn, to reach them. So, while the workouts are grueling, they're a necessary evil. And, once or twice a week of that kind of intensity is just what I need. Therefore, after all my groveling and complaining, Mr. Glenn Lot Jr will see my face on next Thursday.
We only have a few more weeks of summer. Come on down for the challenge.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Post-Election Day
Voter turnout in the city of Detroit was low yesterday, but did we really expect more? My motto is, "Don't sweat the small stuff." We can't afford to worry too much about other people's actions, or lack thereof. I'm a faithful voter, have been for most my voting elegible years. As such, I made my voice heard yesterday evening.
And the results are:
Mayoral Candidates: Dave Bing, Tom Barrow
I'll be honest. I had no clue who Mr. Tom Barrow was until I googled him this afternoon. I, like the majority of the voters in the city, was far more interested in the city council candidates. Since Dave Bing just got into office, like last week, we might as well see what he's got to offer. No need in changing administration so soon.
City Council Candidates: Charles Pugh (Yay!), Ken Cockrel Jr. (Boo!), Gary Brown, Brenda Jones, Saunteel Jenkins, Kwame Kenyatta, Joanne Watson, Jai-Lee Dearing, Alberta Tinsley-Talibi, Andre Spivey, James Tate, Lisa Howze, Shelley Foy, Fred Elliot Hall, Raphael Johnson (huh?), Mohamed Okdie, David Cross, John Bennett (:)).
Whew! That was a lot of typing.
I think this was the first time in Detroit's political history, that the primary focus of the election was on the council, rather than the mayor's office. Regarding the race for city council, I couldn't be more happy about Charles Pugh's place in the race. Well, not 100%. As much as I support Mr. Pugh as a candidate, I don't believe a new councilperson should jump in as president of the body, hence, the need for the city's charter to be revised. Another thing, I have a problem with people referring to Charles Pugh as a celebrity and insinuating that he's running for office, solely, based on name recognition. Mr. Pugh can't help it if his name is a household name in the city of Detroit because of news reporting and his time on the radio station, WJLB. I think Charles has evidenced his commitment to the city in several ways. The fact that he'd leave his lucrative career to serve the city speaks volumes to his character and his purpose. He's a true Detroiter and he will be an asset to the city council. AND, PLEASE, I HOPE PEOPLE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE MAN'S SEXUALITY! THAT IS SO OLD NEWS!
Most surprising to me about the council race was convicted murderer, Raphael Johnson, making it on the November ballot. I didn't think it would happen. The subject of whether a convicted felon should be allowed to hold public office was such a hot and touchy topic since the news of his conviction became public knowledge. Personally, I was on the fence on the issue. It pains me to think of all the young people, especially young black men, who traveled the wrong path in their youths, which led to criminal convictions, and the difficulty that they have obtaining gainful employment, in order to leave the criminal life behind. It's pretty hypocritical of us, as a people, to call our punitive system, a place for rehabilitation, then say those convicted are not welcome to ALL parts of society once they have paid their debts to society. Who are we to judge? I mean, really, the actions, whether criminal or not, most of us took at the age of 17 or 18, aren't the same ones we would take 10 or 20 years later, right? So why should we view Raphael Johnson any differently?
City Charter Commission: Freeman Hendrix, Rose Mary Robinson; Teola Hunter; Ken Coleman; Jenice Mitchell Ford; John Johnson; Jeffery Robinson; Reggie Reg Davis; Cara Blount; Jonathan Kinloch; Ken Harris; John Eddings; Tonya Myers-Phillips; Patty Fedewa; Sarah Lile; Warren Crockett; Olumba-John Olumba and Elena Herrada
On the subject of the charter commission, I wish I was more informed on all of the candidates. Seeing that I wasn't, responsibly, I only voted for who I knew I wanted on that commission--Freeman Hendrix :) All I know is that our charter is in desperate need of revision so we can avoid circus shows such as this council race. Can we get some qualifications for council? Can we set some standards, like whether a convicted felon can run for office? Can we set limits on how many people can run, so voters don't have to search through 167 names on a ballot? Please!
I'm pretty proud of myself in recent years. I remember, about 5yrs ago, I used to roll my eyes when my, now ex-husband, use to be trying to engage me in political conversations. At that time, politics wasn't something I paid much attention to. Yes, I used to vote based on name recognition, mainly because I wasn't aware or didn't understand the issues. Recently, I've turned over a new leaf. I understand the importance of being an informed voter so that I don't regret the decisions made by people I chose. So, now, I'm always looking for ways to inform myself on issues that surround me. I listen to the Mildred Gaddis show most mornings, I watch CNN in the evenings, and I tune in to the Rachel Maddox show, and another, who's name I can't remember offhand. But, overall, it felt pretty good to vote for people who I really believed in and I encourage all to do the same, if you're not already. And, if you have some news programs that you recommend, please share it with me in the comment section.
Lastly, can anyone say, "Thank God, Martha Reeves is a goner?"
And the results are:
Mayoral Candidates: Dave Bing, Tom Barrow
I'll be honest. I had no clue who Mr. Tom Barrow was until I googled him this afternoon. I, like the majority of the voters in the city, was far more interested in the city council candidates. Since Dave Bing just got into office, like last week, we might as well see what he's got to offer. No need in changing administration so soon.
City Council Candidates: Charles Pugh (Yay!), Ken Cockrel Jr. (Boo!), Gary Brown, Brenda Jones, Saunteel Jenkins, Kwame Kenyatta, Joanne Watson, Jai-Lee Dearing, Alberta Tinsley-Talibi, Andre Spivey, James Tate, Lisa Howze, Shelley Foy, Fred Elliot Hall, Raphael Johnson (huh?), Mohamed Okdie, David Cross, John Bennett (:)).
Whew! That was a lot of typing.
I think this was the first time in Detroit's political history, that the primary focus of the election was on the council, rather than the mayor's office. Regarding the race for city council, I couldn't be more happy about Charles Pugh's place in the race. Well, not 100%. As much as I support Mr. Pugh as a candidate, I don't believe a new councilperson should jump in as president of the body, hence, the need for the city's charter to be revised. Another thing, I have a problem with people referring to Charles Pugh as a celebrity and insinuating that he's running for office, solely, based on name recognition. Mr. Pugh can't help it if his name is a household name in the city of Detroit because of news reporting and his time on the radio station, WJLB. I think Charles has evidenced his commitment to the city in several ways. The fact that he'd leave his lucrative career to serve the city speaks volumes to his character and his purpose. He's a true Detroiter and he will be an asset to the city council. AND, PLEASE, I HOPE PEOPLE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE MAN'S SEXUALITY! THAT IS SO OLD NEWS!
Most surprising to me about the council race was convicted murderer, Raphael Johnson, making it on the November ballot. I didn't think it would happen. The subject of whether a convicted felon should be allowed to hold public office was such a hot and touchy topic since the news of his conviction became public knowledge. Personally, I was on the fence on the issue. It pains me to think of all the young people, especially young black men, who traveled the wrong path in their youths, which led to criminal convictions, and the difficulty that they have obtaining gainful employment, in order to leave the criminal life behind. It's pretty hypocritical of us, as a people, to call our punitive system, a place for rehabilitation, then say those convicted are not welcome to ALL parts of society once they have paid their debts to society. Who are we to judge? I mean, really, the actions, whether criminal or not, most of us took at the age of 17 or 18, aren't the same ones we would take 10 or 20 years later, right? So why should we view Raphael Johnson any differently?
City Charter Commission: Freeman Hendrix, Rose Mary Robinson; Teola Hunter; Ken Coleman; Jenice Mitchell Ford; John Johnson; Jeffery Robinson; Reggie Reg Davis; Cara Blount; Jonathan Kinloch; Ken Harris; John Eddings; Tonya Myers-Phillips; Patty Fedewa; Sarah Lile; Warren Crockett; Olumba-John Olumba and Elena Herrada
On the subject of the charter commission, I wish I was more informed on all of the candidates. Seeing that I wasn't, responsibly, I only voted for who I knew I wanted on that commission--Freeman Hendrix :) All I know is that our charter is in desperate need of revision so we can avoid circus shows such as this council race. Can we get some qualifications for council? Can we set some standards, like whether a convicted felon can run for office? Can we set limits on how many people can run, so voters don't have to search through 167 names on a ballot? Please!
I'm pretty proud of myself in recent years. I remember, about 5yrs ago, I used to roll my eyes when my, now ex-husband, use to be trying to engage me in political conversations. At that time, politics wasn't something I paid much attention to. Yes, I used to vote based on name recognition, mainly because I wasn't aware or didn't understand the issues. Recently, I've turned over a new leaf. I understand the importance of being an informed voter so that I don't regret the decisions made by people I chose. So, now, I'm always looking for ways to inform myself on issues that surround me. I listen to the Mildred Gaddis show most mornings, I watch CNN in the evenings, and I tune in to the Rachel Maddox show, and another, who's name I can't remember offhand. But, overall, it felt pretty good to vote for people who I really believed in and I encourage all to do the same, if you're not already. And, if you have some news programs that you recommend, please share it with me in the comment section.
Lastly, can anyone say, "Thank God, Martha Reeves is a goner?"
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
An Interesting Perspective
Is it possible that I could ever regret my decision to lock my hair? Hmm. I don't think so. Just the other day, I was explaining to an inquiring mind how detached I've become with my hair over this hair locking process. I'm not peturbed about the prospect of cutting my locks out IF and WHEN I ever decide not to wear them anymore. I am so NOT "my hair"! The locking process has freed me from the relevance that my hair plays in my life.
Then, here comes my mom with a perspective I hadn't considered. She and I were discussing the difficulties in the job market. Specifically, as it relates to older people being discriminated against. My mom was talking about, possibly, rinsing the grey out of her hair, if she should find herself displaced from her current job. From there, she began talking about the challenges my aunt encountered trying to be promoted into a management position at the company that I, now, work for. My aunt, who was very Afrocentric, from head to toe, was sure that her challenges stemmed from her natural state of being. Eventually, my aunt gave up and pursued other employment endeavors.
Now, here we are--10 plus years later. A natural hair movement, so to speak, has transpired. Everywhere you go, you're likey to see a sistah rocking a low fade, neat afro, natural twists, or locks. It sort of gives the impression that it's become socially acceptable for black women, black people, to embrace and express their natural beauty. After the conversation with my mother, I realized that, while locks may be more "socially" acceptable, the same may not hold true in the corporate world. My career path was not an area I considered when I was thinking of locking my hair.
I've been working for a certain telecommunications company for over 10 years. During those years, I've worked in a few different departments on the non-management side. At different times, I have considered tranistioning to the management side. Of course, I thought nothing of that when I was deciding on whether or not to lock my hair. And, personally, I don't think I should have.
What I, or anyone else, chooses to do with their hair should have no bearing on a position that they carry with a corporation. The emphasis should be placed on the work performed. Unfortunately, I know that how it should be, is not always how it is. So, that being the case, if I begin to notice that I'm not being promoted because of my locks, will I regret my personal style? Will I change my style for a position?
I think NOT!
Easily, locking my hair has been one THE best decisions of my life! Seriously. I could never regret it for anything in the world. If corporate America doesn't want me because of my lovely locks, then, it is THEY who lose.
Then, here comes my mom with a perspective I hadn't considered. She and I were discussing the difficulties in the job market. Specifically, as it relates to older people being discriminated against. My mom was talking about, possibly, rinsing the grey out of her hair, if she should find herself displaced from her current job. From there, she began talking about the challenges my aunt encountered trying to be promoted into a management position at the company that I, now, work for. My aunt, who was very Afrocentric, from head to toe, was sure that her challenges stemmed from her natural state of being. Eventually, my aunt gave up and pursued other employment endeavors.
Now, here we are--10 plus years later. A natural hair movement, so to speak, has transpired. Everywhere you go, you're likey to see a sistah rocking a low fade, neat afro, natural twists, or locks. It sort of gives the impression that it's become socially acceptable for black women, black people, to embrace and express their natural beauty. After the conversation with my mother, I realized that, while locks may be more "socially" acceptable, the same may not hold true in the corporate world. My career path was not an area I considered when I was thinking of locking my hair.
I've been working for a certain telecommunications company for over 10 years. During those years, I've worked in a few different departments on the non-management side. At different times, I have considered tranistioning to the management side. Of course, I thought nothing of that when I was deciding on whether or not to lock my hair. And, personally, I don't think I should have.
What I, or anyone else, chooses to do with their hair should have no bearing on a position that they carry with a corporation. The emphasis should be placed on the work performed. Unfortunately, I know that how it should be, is not always how it is. So, that being the case, if I begin to notice that I'm not being promoted because of my locks, will I regret my personal style? Will I change my style for a position?
I think NOT!
Easily, locking my hair has been one THE best decisions of my life! Seriously. I could never regret it for anything in the world. If corporate America doesn't want me because of my lovely locks, then, it is THEY who lose.
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