Single Mommy Meltdown

This has been a morning that I just fell like crying. As me and the kids are getting ready in the morning, my son shows me that his backpack is empty--AGAIN. I say, "Where is your pencil box?" "I don't know," he responds carelessly. I sigh heavily following that expected response. What kind of mother was I, allowing my Kindergardener to go to school without his supplies. All I could think of was what my son's teacher was going to think of me because, naturally, the 5yr old is blameless.

Then on the way to school, with the empty backpack on my mind, I start thinking about my daughter having to stay after school until 6pm for Flag Corp practice. She attends school across the street from my job, which is 25 minutes from home, right? I get off work at 4PM. It would simply be insane for me to drive 25 minutes to get to my son only to have to drive back in approximately 60 minutes to be back in time to pick my daughter up. I couldn't help but consider not letting her participate on this team, but I knew that wouldn't be fair to her. So what that means is that 3 days per week I have to stay at work for an extra 2 hrs, twiddling my thumbs until she gets out of school.

For a split second I almost put in a phone call to my kids' father to see what assistance he could be, but I knew it was useless. In times like these, he always uses the same excuse he always does--he has to work. As if I don't, right?. But I'm always the one who has 100% of the responsibility of our children. I've been doing it for so long that it usually doesn't phase me--just an everyday part of my life. However, every now and then--like today--when my imperfections shine through, I feel so overwhelmed, but I know God has my back and won't let me mess up too much.