Uh-Oh, She Betta Watch Out

She didn't realize it, but my loctitian gave me major props when she was retightening my hair the other day. You see, I'd just gotten my locs colored a week ago by my pre-natural hair days stylist. Well that stylist doesn't maintain locs, but I trusted her undoubtedly for color treating my locs. Point being, since I had a ladies' night outing prior my scheduling retightening visit I had to do retighten myself. Anyway, when my locitian saw my hair she said, "Oh, she retightened it,too," speaking of the colorist. I proudly answered that I had retightened my own hair. Though she didn't go on to compliment me directly (which I think she should have), I took it as a compliment that she thought a professional had done my hair.

Such a proud moment. Even though I'd received compliments from others when I retighten my locs, it meant a lot coming from someone who does it professionally. It reaffirmed that I can do a really good job when I take my time. And more importantly, if I can do such a good job on my own hair, I can do it for others, too.

That, I'm looking forward to. Yet, another stream of income. One that can replace my day job, if necessary, thus making more free time to pen those stories :) Always gotta think ahead, right?

LA Jefferson

Work What You've Got

I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but I was somewhat comforted when a friend of mine expressed her lack of close female friends to hang out with because I, too, lack in that area. Don't get me wrong. I'm not totally friendless. No need for any tears to be shed over the matter. It's just that the friendships that I have aren't always what I want them to be. We don't talk enough. Or when we do, the conversations are not deep enough. We definitely don't hang out enough. We don't laugh enough together. We don't cry enough together.

I want "Waiting to Exhale" and "Sex in the City" kind of friendships. I want friends who are friends not just in name only, but in action as well. And I'm sure that's what my girlfriend is looking for too.

My friend went on to express how dull her life is because the few women she's friends with are either married, married with children, or single with children. So, she pretty much resigns herself to work and home.

Now that, I can't imagine. The way I see it is you have to put some effort into what you want your life to be. And that's in every aspect whether it's work, school, friends, family, or relationships. You can't sit idly by, expecting meaningful relationships and friendships, or fulfilling career to simply drop in your lap. Boy, if only it were that easy!

So for my friend and myself, where new friendships don't happen often, it's important to nurture the friends that we have. Just because your a friend is married or has children doesn't mean she can't be a friend anymore. Sure, her availability may change, but there will be times for some togetherness. Continue to nurture the friendship with regular phone calls, an occasional visit, and don't give up inviting the friend out from time to time. Although you may get more "I can't" answers than "I can" answers, the effort you put forth will be worth it in the end.

To be on the safe side, nurture multiple friendships simultaneously. You can't have all you eggs in one basket. Yes, even with our girlfriends, this is not wise. When one can't come through, the other possibly will.

But most importantly: GET A LIFE!

Life doesn't begin with children. Life doesn't begin with a spouse or a boyfriend. Life is right now, wherever you are. Don't waste it waiting for certain aspects to be just the way you want them. So until your friends get on your page, or until the right (whatever that is) man comes along, "do you." Get a hobby. Take some classes at a local community college. Join an organization. Do community service. For God's sake, do something more than sulk!

Before you know it, your time is up.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson 1958-2009 (added 6/26/09)

They Won't Always be Small

Here it is a Saturday night--technically Sunday morning-- and I'm sitting in my bed on the Net instead of getting my dance on at two parties I was invited to. While it's not so much that I just to go to either of these parties, but simply that it would be nice to have been able to without taking my kids to my parents house. After all, the do have a father. A father, who during our divorce two years ago, claimed that he wanted joint physical custody of our children. Well, since those proceedings he's done nothing but prove me right in my belief that he wasn't "for real" about his request. Unfortunately, it was also during those proceedings that our children spent a night with their dad. His loss!

It's a good thing that I accepted my sole responsibility for my children a long time ago. So when these seldom times occur, when I long for the kids to have another home with their dad every other weekend, I just remember what my mom told me her mother told her--"Your children won't always be small." How comforting? What's really comforting is that I'm almost there. With a 14 yr old and a 5 yr old, in another year or so, I won't be having this issue.

Now I'm off to bed.

Congrats Graduates

Next to Christmas, the current season has to be my next favorite time of the year. Not only because summer is finally here in Michigan, but it's graduation season.

This year I've had the privilege of having quite a few honories in my personal circle. My mom graduating from our local community college, something she never thought she'd do. My daughter graduating (correction, "being promoted") from middle school. My son completing pre-K. Such exciting times for these graduates. And last but not least, my two step daughters--one graduating from middle school and the other from high school

My emotions really get the best of me during graduation ceremonies. Just yesterday at my daughter's ceremony and a couple of days ago at my mom's, tears threatened to spill from my eyes as I scanned the room of smiling graduates as they walked that precessional walk down the aisle to their seats. All eyes on them. Their moment to shine. Their moment to say, "Yes, I did it!"

They did, indeed, do it. At my son's pre-K celebration, they did it! The little boys and little girls, many of whom had never been in a educational environment before that first day, learned to follow direction from another adult. They learned the importance of sharing. They learned that everything didn't revolve around them. They learned to adapt to a schedule away from home. And one of their biggest lessons, as they move on to Kindergarden in the fall will be that many of the people they meet in this world will only be in their life for a season as they go on to meet new kids, in new schools.

The middle school kids going to high school did it, too! Goodness, I can't even get into the hurdles these kids overcame during these puberty years. But even through puberty, the ups and downs of friendships during those years, the introduction to boyfriends and girlfriends, they made it to the end of that road. And my daighter did it with honors. Now they excitedly look toward their high school years which will bring about even more new and exciting challenges.

My mom and other graduates like her of various ages did it too! The beauty of community college is that some of everybody is there. Recent high school graduates who chose to induce a less stringent transition into college life or who maybe needed to improve their GPA before applying to a 4yr university. There's the student who desires to switch careers and take advantage of the lower cost of tuition by taking general education courses to transfer later on. Then there's the students like my mom. For years, they feared higher education. Not thinking they could measure up. But lo' and behold after taking one class after the next, after the next, by the grace of God (and a little homework help from their kids & grandkids), they find themselves walking across the stage, a confident and degreed individual.

How good is my God? Congrats to the graduates of 2009 and best wishes in all you pursue!