Up For the Challenge

I'm not sure if my daughter did this on purpose, but, nonetheless, she challenged me to accomplish a long sought after goal of mine. Since she was born 14 years ago, I've been working off & on throughout the years to lose the belly fat that developed from the birth of her and my son five years ago.

Yesterday she and I went to the gym. Back at home I continued to perform some ab exercises and arm toning exercises. While doing this I was talking about how motivated I become when I take in the fit bodies surrounding me at the gym. Well she says, "Ma, I don't even know why you keep exercising. You've been exercising like forever and you don't eat as much junk as some people do and you still got that fat stomach. You might as well just accept it."

Yep. Just like that. That's what MY child said to me. Now, she wasn't mean spirited. She says all the time that I have a nice figure. I wear a size 8. So why do I stress myself over a flabby belly? She simply doesn't understand.

Believe me, I wish I could stop my quest as much as anybody. But how can I stop when I know I haven't done absolutely everything I can to achieve my goal. I'm guilty of wanting the desired result without REALLY investing the sacrifice and dedication necessary to achieve it. The longest duration I went faitfully to the gym was maybe six to nine months. During the time, my body was getting into shape. I could tell. However, I didn't curtail my eating ENOUGH to reach the desired results. I still wanted to eat chocolate chip cookies (my fav), pizza (my other fav), and fast food multiple times during the month.

So, for me, I can't let go of the goal until I do ALL that is reasonably possible. Most of the women I see in the gym who have the bodies I desire are working out HARD. They're not walking on the treadmill. They're RUNNING. They're not just doing the ab machines. They working EVERY muscle. I can only assume, if they're working it out like that in the gym, they're probably meticulous with their healty eating regimens as well.

Though it's taken me awhile to get myself back in the gym, I'm back now. I acknowledge that I need prayer and meditation to overcome the challenges that are before me. What comforts me is that this is something that I want. It's not for anyone elses benefit but my own.

Exercising, eating right, and having the BEST physical and healthiest body I can is a lifetime goal. I intend to be the woman at 45, 50, & 60 years old that younger women declare, "Wow, that's how I want to look when I get that old." Probably sounds a bit vain, but it's my goal, nonetheless. The good thing is that in the process of pursuing my goal, my kids are learning throughout their lives about healthy living because they're involved every step of the way.

Wish me luck!

The Good Ole' Days

I'm wondering when did I become such a scaredy-cat when it comes to spending money. Five years ago, I had standing bi-weekly hair appointments. In the summer, I would at least treat myself to two or three pedicures in the summer time. I would treat my mom, sister, and my daughter to the movies on occasion. We'd go to breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And, the mall was a hangout--not just for window shopping either.

Now, I cringe when my, now, teenage daughter wants to go the mall. Although I want and need a pedicure, when I think about kicking out that $25 dollars compared to just painting my own toenails, I decide on the latter. Even though I wear my hair locked, I only see my loctician a few times a year, maintaining my own hair.

Did the economy reshape my spending priorities? Did maturity? Did having two children?

Whatever the case and cause, I know I miss those days. Even though I know my sights are set on more longterm gratifying things like a bigger house, college savings for my children, my personal savings, vacation (family & personal), I really want the best of both worlds. I'd love to get back to treating myself to regular hair appointments. I want regular pedicures! I want to hit the mall whenever a sale is going on, not just when I absolutely have to for the kids.

Thank God for patience and strength. Until I'm able to have the life I want, I make the best of the life I have. Where I can't shop ALL the time, on the occasion when I take the kids shopping for their necessities, I treat myself to a little something. Every now and then, the kids and I do go out for breakfast or dinner, bowling, and a movie (matinee or drive-ins). I'm comforted knowing my reward is on the way :)

How Rude!

The way you may get through your work day and somebody else gets through their day are not always the same. Here it is Friday. Our boss left early. Yay! Well, my coworker thinks its cool to listen to his music WITHOUT headphones. I, on the other hand, try to get some writing done at times like this. And it's EXTREMELY difficult to get that done with he's jumping from song to song to song!!!!

I know I could ask him to turn the music down, but you'd think he'd know better since he fell out with another coworker over his music being too loud. You know, we're all grown There are just some things you should know. Clearly he doesn't.

Well, it's my time to fly this coup. Hopefully I can finish my other blog entry when I get home. Man, he's lucky I'm not working on a masterpiece.

Peace

L.A. Jefferson

Yes, They're all Squared Away

Finally I can enjoy my summer! Last week I finalized the paperwork for son's new elementary school. Then this week my daughter received her letter of acceptance to the high school she was hoping to get accepted into--a nationally recognized high school and one of the best in our city. Before this, I hate to admit, I didn't have the solid backup plans. It had gotten to the point that I hated when people would ask me what school my daughter was going to. Since most people who asked didn't need the whole story, I started speaking the name of the school we wanted her to go to. Then I was prayed that God would work everything out just the way I needed HIM to.

And he did!

God knew I needed a good elementary school and high school close to my job. Reason being, I plan to move by the end of this year or early next year. And since I'm not decided on where I'll be residing, it became important that both children be in the vicinity of my job. Now that's exactly the case.

Sure I'll lose my peaceful morning drives, being in the hustle and bustle of getting the kids to their respective schools on time. But, when I need to get to them during the school day or for after school activities, I'm less than 10 minutes away from both. Can't get much better than that!

So until school shopping time (practically right around the corner), I'm gonna be relaxing, enjoying the summer sun.

Uh-Oh, She Betta Watch Out

She didn't realize it, but my loctitian gave me major props when she was retightening my hair the other day. You see, I'd just gotten my locs colored a week ago by my pre-natural hair days stylist. Well that stylist doesn't maintain locs, but I trusted her undoubtedly for color treating my locs. Point being, since I had a ladies' night outing prior my scheduling retightening visit I had to do retighten myself. Anyway, when my locitian saw my hair she said, "Oh, she retightened it,too," speaking of the colorist. I proudly answered that I had retightened my own hair. Though she didn't go on to compliment me directly (which I think she should have), I took it as a compliment that she thought a professional had done my hair.

Such a proud moment. Even though I'd received compliments from others when I retighten my locs, it meant a lot coming from someone who does it professionally. It reaffirmed that I can do a really good job when I take my time. And more importantly, if I can do such a good job on my own hair, I can do it for others, too.

That, I'm looking forward to. Yet, another stream of income. One that can replace my day job, if necessary, thus making more free time to pen those stories :) Always gotta think ahead, right?

LA Jefferson

Work What You've Got

I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but I was somewhat comforted when a friend of mine expressed her lack of close female friends to hang out with because I, too, lack in that area. Don't get me wrong. I'm not totally friendless. No need for any tears to be shed over the matter. It's just that the friendships that I have aren't always what I want them to be. We don't talk enough. Or when we do, the conversations are not deep enough. We definitely don't hang out enough. We don't laugh enough together. We don't cry enough together.

I want "Waiting to Exhale" and "Sex in the City" kind of friendships. I want friends who are friends not just in name only, but in action as well. And I'm sure that's what my girlfriend is looking for too.

My friend went on to express how dull her life is because the few women she's friends with are either married, married with children, or single with children. So, she pretty much resigns herself to work and home.

Now that, I can't imagine. The way I see it is you have to put some effort into what you want your life to be. And that's in every aspect whether it's work, school, friends, family, or relationships. You can't sit idly by, expecting meaningful relationships and friendships, or fulfilling career to simply drop in your lap. Boy, if only it were that easy!

So for my friend and myself, where new friendships don't happen often, it's important to nurture the friends that we have. Just because your a friend is married or has children doesn't mean she can't be a friend anymore. Sure, her availability may change, but there will be times for some togetherness. Continue to nurture the friendship with regular phone calls, an occasional visit, and don't give up inviting the friend out from time to time. Although you may get more "I can't" answers than "I can" answers, the effort you put forth will be worth it in the end.

To be on the safe side, nurture multiple friendships simultaneously. You can't have all you eggs in one basket. Yes, even with our girlfriends, this is not wise. When one can't come through, the other possibly will.

But most importantly: GET A LIFE!

Life doesn't begin with children. Life doesn't begin with a spouse or a boyfriend. Life is right now, wherever you are. Don't waste it waiting for certain aspects to be just the way you want them. So until your friends get on your page, or until the right (whatever that is) man comes along, "do you." Get a hobby. Take some classes at a local community college. Join an organization. Do community service. For God's sake, do something more than sulk!

Before you know it, your time is up.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson 1958-2009 (added 6/26/09)

They Won't Always be Small

Here it is a Saturday night--technically Sunday morning-- and I'm sitting in my bed on the Net instead of getting my dance on at two parties I was invited to. While it's not so much that I just to go to either of these parties, but simply that it would be nice to have been able to without taking my kids to my parents house. After all, the do have a father. A father, who during our divorce two years ago, claimed that he wanted joint physical custody of our children. Well, since those proceedings he's done nothing but prove me right in my belief that he wasn't "for real" about his request. Unfortunately, it was also during those proceedings that our children spent a night with their dad. His loss!

It's a good thing that I accepted my sole responsibility for my children a long time ago. So when these seldom times occur, when I long for the kids to have another home with their dad every other weekend, I just remember what my mom told me her mother told her--"Your children won't always be small." How comforting? What's really comforting is that I'm almost there. With a 14 yr old and a 5 yr old, in another year or so, I won't be having this issue.

Now I'm off to bed.