Homecoming, Halloween, & Birthdays

Hey Fam & Friends!

It's been awhile since my last post but trust and believe me, that's not because there's been nothing to share! October was quite a busy month! For starters, LaTya started her first job! Yay!!! On the road to independence. A parent's dream! She's working at Panera Bread and she's quite enjoying it, especially when she gets those checks. LOL!

Also, LaTya joined the Mime ministry at church!  It's quite a blessing when children desire and choose ministries on their own. Sure, that puts something else on my plate--weekly practice--but I'm glad to do it for her.  Below is a clip of one of her first performances. I apologize in advance for the messed up part of the video. Cell phones video recording--what can you do? But I guarantee you'll enjoy what you are able to see!

Then there was my birthday--October 15th! I dun' crossed over to the other side of 35! It's really tripping me out, too, but I'm blessed, nonetheless. I got the best birthday gift ever. My honey, Kevin, gifted me with a weekend at the Holiday Inn Express downtown, which was perfectly planned because my writer's group, Motown Writers Network was hosting it's 3rd Annual Book Club Mix & Mingle where authors and book club members come together for a fun-filled gathering! At the event (on my actual birthday), I wore my birthday present from LaTya, a t-shirt that reads, "Future Best Selling Author". Isn't she just a doll of a daughter?





Myself, L.A. Jefferson & National Best Selling Author Vincent Alexandria book swapping!

  October 21st: Cass Tech High School Homecoming!

Check out this Cass Tech Cutie!

Any guess what she's thinking about?

He'd never admit how pretty he thought his sister looked. LOL!

Halloween 2011: Harvest Celebration at Kadesh Baptist Church

Pretty girl Tya a.k.a Bunny Rabbit & Princess Alaura 

Nate the Great a.k.a. Ice Wolf Ninja

Nate a.k. Ice Wolf Ninja beating his Larry ak.a. General Grievous (Clone Wars) in the musical chairs game

My Jalen poo a.k.a. Woody

My Raymond poo a.k.a Wolverine

My Kenny poo a.k.a. Iron Man

I was dressed up, but who takes pictures of me :(( Nevertheless, kids had a ball! And with the end of the night, as with most holidays, I was just glad when it was over!

Christmas Lists & Kids

I'm just curious--do you shop specifically off your kids Christmas list? For me, it depends on the age group of the child. This issue arose when my daughter kidded that my 6yr old might as well not make a list because I never buy anything off the list. Clearly as the big sister she has many fun facts to share with her little brother about me, which she gets quite a kick out of, I might add. In my defense, I try to buy a few things off my kids' list but let's be honest--at 6yrs old, don't kids want, like, EVERYTHING??? Seriously, when the first toy sales booklet came my son marked off just about every boy toy that was in it! What am I supposed to do with that??? Really? Certainly not buy him stuff I know he only wants for the pizzazz of it all. Therefore, I buy him stuff that I know he'll love just like my daughter did. Even she has to admit that I never bought her anything she didn't love!

Delegating Gone Good

It seemed like a fine idea from the onset. But the nights following the idea my nights were becoming quite tumultuous. You'd probably think I was pondering some life altering decision like getting married or relocating my family to another state. Nope, not so. What was weighing on my mind so heavily was whether or not to allow my ex-husband to attend our son's school field trip?

Whoa! Whoa! Before you pounce on me let me explain my position. Although I'm not a dead beat dad basher, in my posts you could probably still gather that I am of the single parent status. Ever since our divorce after our first child was born my ex has never been a hands on kind of father. Even after we reconciled, had a second child together and divorced again, he's never stepped up his game with being an involved parent though he promised he would. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. The extent of his parental involvement has been from his semi-regular financial support and the occasional fun outings when he is so gracious as to share his off days with his children.

So, anyway, it's the beginning of the school year AND the near end of the calendar year, which leads to the reason why I needed my ex to go on this field trip in the first place. I'M OUT OF VACATION TIME!!! While my ex is always screeching about how he doesn't get any time off from his job I've always taken note of how he's off whenever he needs to go to court and stuff so I've always known he could get a day off with advance notice so I decided to call him on it and lo and behold he said okay. From that moment on I started wondering if I'd done the right thing.

For starters, our son was NOT going to be happy about this change in the game plan. Sure, his grandfather had chaperoned one of his field trips in Pre-K, but it's always been mom at his side (not that he'd been on that many field trips but I'm the one who's always been there). The last thing he expected or wanted was his dad to be there. "Mom, he's going to embarrass me," were the words of my son when I told him his dad was going on the trip. I translated his comment into, "My dad is going to yelling at me and being mean and my friends are going to be laughing at me." I'm almost sure that's what he meant.

In the back of my mind I was hoping (praying on occasion) that my ex backed out then that way I could do what I had to do and go on the field trip. At the same time, however, I was steadily trying to convince myself that he had just as much of an obligation to use his personal time from work for his children. After all, where do you think the majority of my vacation time went: doctors' appts, dentists appts, parent-teacher conferences, and other school functions. So in essence, it was about time he was doing something and I needed to be glad for it.

The field trip was yesterday. And down to the wire my son tried to coax me into going with him even if his stand still went. He just wanted his mom :)) In the end, I was steadfast in letting dad do his due dilegence and when I saw my son when I got off work he looked just as happy as when I dropped him off at school. I was like, "Cool. He had a good time." Then he looked up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes and said, "Mommy, can you go on my next field trip please?"

Yes! School's Almost Out

I don't express it aloud, but I'm just as happy as the kids are about the end of the school year quickly approaching. Although I'll still be working during the summer, since I didn't become a teacher like I should have, it'll be nice having my car to myself on the drive to work for a couple of months. Honestly, I won't be totally alone. My son will be going to day camp near my job, but he isn't nearly as disturbing as my teenage daughter and her friend who tags along for the ride. He won't complain about listening to talk radio in the morning. He's not going to ask to turn the radio off so he can tell me all of the plans he has that, by the way, are going to be funded by me. LOL. I've got at least another couple of years before he gets off into that. Hopefully:)

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter to pieces. Even more, I love her teenage excitement. It's just that as a single mom, I NEED some time alone every now and then. Since I don't have the benefit of an participating, non-custodial parent I have to treasure the little free time that I do get and that use to be my travel time to and from work. Therefore, I just may do that end of the school year barbeque my daughter requested of me. She just won't know that I'll be celebrating too!

It's All about Nate

Between my daughter and my activities during the week and on weekends, many times my son, Nate gets left out. It's a good thing he's only 5 and that's entertaining in itself, however, this weekend it will be all about him! We began with Saturday morning skating lessons. for the last few weeks he's been talking about going skating. Of course I know he wants to play the video games, but I figure the lessons will encourage him to actually want to skate, too. After the lessons were done he said his feet hurt but he wasn't ready to go so I take that as a good sign that he liked it :) Today is Sunday so were going to church, but after that it's more fun for Nate. Ice and cake for his cousins b-day, them
on to see Astro Boy!

Doesn't all of this make you wish to be a kid again!

Til Later...L.A. Jefferson

My Teenager Makes Me Laugh

Sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying. My 14yr old daughter is quite a character. It's report card time and her grades are not where they should be. They're not awful--not even close--but they could be A LOT better. As her mom, it's my responsibility to curb her behavior and/or activities with some type of punishment, right? Of course, I'm right. My daughter, however, is under the impression that since they are HER grades and it's HER future that's going to be effected by how well she does in school that I shouldn't bother putting her on ANY kind of punishment. "I've got it under control", she says.

What's funny is how dead serious she is! She was in tears when we had this discussion a couple of months ago when I was implementing phone times for her during the week. "As long as I get my homework done, I don't see why it should matter to you when I get it done."

I swear these are her exact words! She has the nerve to use my own words against me. I've always told her that her getting a good education is for her benefit, not mine, "So don't go asking me to reward you monetarily for good grades," I would say. In my mind, that DOES NOT translate into "I don't care what you do because it's your future and not mine." Every now and then I have to make it plain to her that I am the mother and that I run the show!

Anyway, it's report card day and I already sense that it's going to be one of those moments. Her grades are not where they should be. She was so excited about being in high school, I think she jumped too quickly into extracurricular activities, even though that's recommended by the school. So I'm thinking the best thing to do is to pull her from some of those activities (she joined like 3 clubs, maybe just allow her to participate in one until the grades get where they need to be. While you and I know that's not a bad punishment--if you can even call it that--but she's going to have a fit!

Til Later..L.A. Jefferson

Kids...What are you gonna do with them?

There comes a point in every mom's "mommy" experience where enough is ENOUGH! I have two lovely children: 14yr old daughter & 5yr old son. I love to them to LIFE, but they know they can work my nerves!!! Let's start with the teenager. She is very lucky that my overprotective mother deprived me of a lot of socializing opportunities during my teen years. It wasn't very often that I was hanging with my friends outside of school, and I won't even touch on the school activities I didn't participate in--that's an entirely different blog altogther! Anyway, since it's important to me that she enjoys the fullness of her youth, I'm extra lenient allowing her to invite friends over, meet friends at the mall or movies, etc. Not only do I allow her the activities, many times I'm shuttling her and her friends to where they are trying to go. So, please tell me why do I get these crazy facial expressions and loud sighs when I ask her to clean out my car or clean up the kitchen (the kitchen is her regular responsibility, which she half cleans most of the time). Believe me, this is rhetorical question. She's a teenager and they don't appreciate ANYTHING!!! I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that I need to change up how I was dealing with little missy. After the 1st wknd of September I set a repeating reminder in my iPhone that there would be NO ACTIVITIES for the teen for the rest of the month. It was funny, too. She'd asked to do something and when I said no, she was like, "Why?" My reply??? Old faitful, "Because I said so." LOL!

Next for the 5yr old. My little boy is just the cutest thing! Really!!! With those bigh brown eyes of his, he has been getting away with some STUFF! He has broken things and not been seriously reprimanded. I've noticed him becoming a little sneakier and manipulative. Yes, I know these things are all apart of him growing up and learning what he can and can't do, but mommy has had to start getting with little man! This year, with my daughter on an early schedule for school, he has to wake up earlier than he did last school year. Therefore, I've established a set schedule for him that I'm still working on adhering to. I've been hitting the mark more often than not, which is a good thing. Bath time is at 7pm, last call for t.v. is 7:30 to 8:00, then lights out.

Back to the behavior. A few weeks ago, I noticed a necklace I bought at Christmas was broken. He admitted that he did it "by mistake". Not long before that, he broke a curtain rod "by mistake". Then, last week he damaged a special umbrella that I had just bought. That same week, he put a tear in my car interior. The final straw was when he cut a hole in his school pants the other day. I was so ticked off! No way was I accepting that he did it "by mistake". Yes, he got the spanking for that one and the curtain rod, as a matter of fact. I warned him that there would be more spankings to come if anything else came up broken or damaged. The real downer of this issue with my son was that I was looking forward to showing him a good time this coming weekend. We were going to go to an arcade on Friday, bowling or skating on Saturday. Boy, he was going to have a ball! He messed that all up. Now it looks I'll just be shopping for my daughter's homecoming dance dress and some winter clothes for all of us :( Quiet is as kept, I would've preferred the arcade and bowling :)

Til next time...

L.A.

Precious Moments

Yay! The kids are back to school and we all couldn't be happier. Like the wonderful mom that I am, I took some personal time off work just so I could see both of my children off to their first day. This entailed driving my daughter downtown to the nationally acclaimed Cass Technical High School, then back to the nortwest side of the city to where my son is attending the elementary school named after Detroit's longest term holding mayor, the late Coleman A. Young. Then, I was back downtown to start my workday. But who's complaining? Definitely not me. It's moments like these, for some reason, when I really get a adrenaline rush about being mom. God has BLESSED me so much to be able to be there for my children in ways many mom's can't. I'm very thankful for having a job where I have the flexibility to be present for important occasions like the first day of school, award ceremonies, field trips, etc. Kids feel special when their parents are there for them. Even though they may sometimes act like the material provisions their parents provide are supreme, but they value our presence just as much. A parents prescence is priceless for all interested parties.

Yes, They're all Squared Away

Finally I can enjoy my summer! Last week I finalized the paperwork for son's new elementary school. Then this week my daughter received her letter of acceptance to the high school she was hoping to get accepted into--a nationally recognized high school and one of the best in our city. Before this, I hate to admit, I didn't have the solid backup plans. It had gotten to the point that I hated when people would ask me what school my daughter was going to. Since most people who asked didn't need the whole story, I started speaking the name of the school we wanted her to go to. Then I was prayed that God would work everything out just the way I needed HIM to.

And he did!

God knew I needed a good elementary school and high school close to my job. Reason being, I plan to move by the end of this year or early next year. And since I'm not decided on where I'll be residing, it became important that both children be in the vicinity of my job. Now that's exactly the case.

Sure I'll lose my peaceful morning drives, being in the hustle and bustle of getting the kids to their respective schools on time. But, when I need to get to them during the school day or for after school activities, I'm less than 10 minutes away from both. Can't get much better than that!

So until school shopping time (practically right around the corner), I'm gonna be relaxing, enjoying the summer sun.