Something's Gotta Give-Update

"If you seek, you shall find." In my case, I didn't even have to look for anything. Stuff has a way of finding me. Remember how I was just telling you about the conflicting activities taking place on Feb 9th? Remember how I said at least the kids don't have anything going on that day? Remember? The very day after I posted that my son excitedly gave me an invite to his schools Black History program, which of course, he's excited to be a part of. Now we all know where I'll be in February 9th.

The kids always win in these things.

LaCharmine (L.A.) Jefferson
Author, Writer, Blogger
Website: http://www.lajefferson.com/
Blogs by me:
L.A.'s Literary Love Life@ http://lajefferson.blogspot.com/
A Day in the Life of L.A. Jefferson @ http://lajefferson.blogspot.com/
All Things Love @ http://all-things-love.blogspot.com/
Naturally L.A. @ http://naturallyla.wordpress.com/
Surviving Work @ http://survivingmydayjob.wordpress.com/
Follow me on Twitter @lajefferson

Yes! School's Almost Out

I don't express it aloud, but I'm just as happy as the kids are about the end of the school year quickly approaching. Although I'll still be working during the summer, since I didn't become a teacher like I should have, it'll be nice having my car to myself on the drive to work for a couple of months. Honestly, I won't be totally alone. My son will be going to day camp near my job, but he isn't nearly as disturbing as my teenage daughter and her friend who tags along for the ride. He won't complain about listening to talk radio in the morning. He's not going to ask to turn the radio off so he can tell me all of the plans he has that, by the way, are going to be funded by me. LOL. I've got at least another couple of years before he gets off into that. Hopefully:)

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter to pieces. Even more, I love her teenage excitement. It's just that as a single mom, I NEED some time alone every now and then. Since I don't have the benefit of an participating, non-custodial parent I have to treasure the little free time that I do get and that use to be my travel time to and from work. Therefore, I just may do that end of the school year barbeque my daughter requested of me. She just won't know that I'll be celebrating too!

Facebooking Your Teen

Although I've been my daugher's Facebook friend for about as long as she had her page, I don't visit it as often as I should. One would think that if your mom is your Facebook friend, one would consider that before each status update. Clearly, teens don't always use the good sense God gave them. When I needed to get a message to my daughter when her cell phone wasn't an option, Facebook was the next best thing because I knew she'd be checking her page shortly after she woke up this particular morning. Initially the message I was leaving only entailed her "to do" list for the day. However, after the things I'd come across on her page, it became necessary for me to advise her of some revisions she needed to make:

1.  Changing status from married to single! The chile' is 15 yrs old and has the nerve to be referring to herself as somebody's wife.

2. Just because you insert punctuation marks in place of a few letters in curse words, you're still cursing as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, she was pretty surprised that I was checking out her page and making her change stuff, but I explained to her that it's my job as her mom to make sure she's representing herself appropriately in every area of her life, even the World Wide Web. After that little experience, I decided to add her to my favorites on Facebook so I can keep up with her daily posts. Boy, the things a parent has to do!

Single Mommy Meltdown

This has been a morning that I just fell like crying. As me and the kids are getting ready in the morning, my son shows me that his backpack is empty--AGAIN. I say, "Where is your pencil box?" "I don't know," he responds carelessly. I sigh heavily following that expected response. What kind of mother was I, allowing my Kindergardener to go to school without his supplies. All I could think of was what my son's teacher was going to think of me because, naturally, the 5yr old is blameless.

Then on the way to school, with the empty backpack on my mind, I start thinking about my daughter having to stay after school until 6pm for Flag Corp practice. She attends school across the street from my job, which is 25 minutes from home, right? I get off work at 4PM. It would simply be insane for me to drive 25 minutes to get to my son only to have to drive back in approximately 60 minutes to be back in time to pick my daughter up. I couldn't help but consider not letting her participate on this team, but I knew that wouldn't be fair to her. So what that means is that 3 days per week I have to stay at work for an extra 2 hrs, twiddling my thumbs until she gets out of school.

For a split second I almost put in a phone call to my kids' father to see what assistance he could be, but I knew it was useless. In times like these, he always uses the same excuse he always does--he has to work. As if I don't, right?. But I'm always the one who has 100% of the responsibility of our children. I've been doing it for so long that it usually doesn't phase me--just an everyday part of my life. However, every now and then--like today--when my imperfections shine through, I feel so overwhelmed, but I know God has my back and won't let me mess up too much.

My Teenager Makes Me Laugh

Sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying. My 14yr old daughter is quite a character. It's report card time and her grades are not where they should be. They're not awful--not even close--but they could be A LOT better. As her mom, it's my responsibility to curb her behavior and/or activities with some type of punishment, right? Of course, I'm right. My daughter, however, is under the impression that since they are HER grades and it's HER future that's going to be effected by how well she does in school that I shouldn't bother putting her on ANY kind of punishment. "I've got it under control", she says.

What's funny is how dead serious she is! She was in tears when we had this discussion a couple of months ago when I was implementing phone times for her during the week. "As long as I get my homework done, I don't see why it should matter to you when I get it done."

I swear these are her exact words! She has the nerve to use my own words against me. I've always told her that her getting a good education is for her benefit, not mine, "So don't go asking me to reward you monetarily for good grades," I would say. In my mind, that DOES NOT translate into "I don't care what you do because it's your future and not mine." Every now and then I have to make it plain to her that I am the mother and that I run the show!

Anyway, it's report card day and I already sense that it's going to be one of those moments. Her grades are not where they should be. She was so excited about being in high school, I think she jumped too quickly into extracurricular activities, even though that's recommended by the school. So I'm thinking the best thing to do is to pull her from some of those activities (she joined like 3 clubs, maybe just allow her to participate in one until the grades get where they need to be. While you and I know that's not a bad punishment--if you can even call it that--but she's going to have a fit!

Til Later..L.A. Jefferson

Kids...What are you gonna do with them?

There comes a point in every mom's "mommy" experience where enough is ENOUGH! I have two lovely children: 14yr old daughter & 5yr old son. I love to them to LIFE, but they know they can work my nerves!!! Let's start with the teenager. She is very lucky that my overprotective mother deprived me of a lot of socializing opportunities during my teen years. It wasn't very often that I was hanging with my friends outside of school, and I won't even touch on the school activities I didn't participate in--that's an entirely different blog altogther! Anyway, since it's important to me that she enjoys the fullness of her youth, I'm extra lenient allowing her to invite friends over, meet friends at the mall or movies, etc. Not only do I allow her the activities, many times I'm shuttling her and her friends to where they are trying to go. So, please tell me why do I get these crazy facial expressions and loud sighs when I ask her to clean out my car or clean up the kitchen (the kitchen is her regular responsibility, which she half cleans most of the time). Believe me, this is rhetorical question. She's a teenager and they don't appreciate ANYTHING!!! I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that I need to change up how I was dealing with little missy. After the 1st wknd of September I set a repeating reminder in my iPhone that there would be NO ACTIVITIES for the teen for the rest of the month. It was funny, too. She'd asked to do something and when I said no, she was like, "Why?" My reply??? Old faitful, "Because I said so." LOL!

Next for the 5yr old. My little boy is just the cutest thing! Really!!! With those bigh brown eyes of his, he has been getting away with some STUFF! He has broken things and not been seriously reprimanded. I've noticed him becoming a little sneakier and manipulative. Yes, I know these things are all apart of him growing up and learning what he can and can't do, but mommy has had to start getting with little man! This year, with my daughter on an early schedule for school, he has to wake up earlier than he did last school year. Therefore, I've established a set schedule for him that I'm still working on adhering to. I've been hitting the mark more often than not, which is a good thing. Bath time is at 7pm, last call for t.v. is 7:30 to 8:00, then lights out.

Back to the behavior. A few weeks ago, I noticed a necklace I bought at Christmas was broken. He admitted that he did it "by mistake". Not long before that, he broke a curtain rod "by mistake". Then, last week he damaged a special umbrella that I had just bought. That same week, he put a tear in my car interior. The final straw was when he cut a hole in his school pants the other day. I was so ticked off! No way was I accepting that he did it "by mistake". Yes, he got the spanking for that one and the curtain rod, as a matter of fact. I warned him that there would be more spankings to come if anything else came up broken or damaged. The real downer of this issue with my son was that I was looking forward to showing him a good time this coming weekend. We were going to go to an arcade on Friday, bowling or skating on Saturday. Boy, he was going to have a ball! He messed that all up. Now it looks I'll just be shopping for my daughter's homecoming dance dress and some winter clothes for all of us :( Quiet is as kept, I would've preferred the arcade and bowling :)

Til next time...

L.A.

Precious Moments

Yay! The kids are back to school and we all couldn't be happier. Like the wonderful mom that I am, I took some personal time off work just so I could see both of my children off to their first day. This entailed driving my daughter downtown to the nationally acclaimed Cass Technical High School, then back to the nortwest side of the city to where my son is attending the elementary school named after Detroit's longest term holding mayor, the late Coleman A. Young. Then, I was back downtown to start my workday. But who's complaining? Definitely not me. It's moments like these, for some reason, when I really get a adrenaline rush about being mom. God has BLESSED me so much to be able to be there for my children in ways many mom's can't. I'm very thankful for having a job where I have the flexibility to be present for important occasions like the first day of school, award ceremonies, field trips, etc. Kids feel special when their parents are there for them. Even though they may sometimes act like the material provisions their parents provide are supreme, but they value our presence just as much. A parents prescence is priceless for all interested parties.

Super Mom Moment

Every so often throughout the year I experience "super mom" moments. Last week, Thursday, was my son's 5th birthday. It was the same day of my 14year old daughter's Annual Sports Award Banquet at her middle school. This was the first year that the ceremony was taking place in the evening, which would've been most convenient had I not wanted to take my son and nephew to one of kids' favorite places, Chuck-E-Cheese. Since attending the banquet was mandatory, as was celebrating my baby's b-day on his day (Saturday was already filled up), some improvising would be called for.

Now, one would think I would've have everything all figured out a few weeks ago. However, I'm severly striken with procrastinitis, as like to call it, and have been for most of my life. So while I knew I was going to buy my son a new bike for his birthday, I was taking him out the evening before his birthday to get him sized for one. After we did at Toys R Us, I dropped him off at home with his sister while I made a trip to my local dollar store for his b-day balloons, which, of course, would remain in the car until he was asleep for the night. That wraps up the day before the b-day.

The day of, baby boy is happy to awake to his colorful assortment of balloons! Doesn't stop him from aksing where his presents and cake are??? Well, at 5, he hasn't drawn the conclusion that mom doesn't make cakes, she buys them. Grandma is the cake maker. However, mom was surprising him with cupcakes for his class after their naptime. I mistakenly figured he'd be distracted with getting ready for school to think about a cake. Anyway, regarding presents, the Batman car I bought for him on our trip to Toys R Us, he didn't consider to be among his b-day presents. He expected something the day of. Kids--gotta love 'em. But he had no idea that his brand new bike would be awaiting him when he got of school.

So I take him to school and hurry to work for a half day. I left work at 1PM, leaving myself exactly 1hr to get to Toys R Us to pick up the bike, get to the bakery for the cupcakes (yes, I should have bought them the day before, but remember, procrastinitis). Thank God, I managed to get everything done and arrived at the school promply at 2PM, surprising the birthday boy. It was lots of fun, although the b-day boy didn't want one of his own cupcakes.

We get home, he's blown away by his new bike. I have to run down the street alongside him as he rides because the bike is a little bigger than the one he learned how to ride without training wheels last summer. But he was doing great. Then once his sister came home froms school, there wasn't much time for anything else besides getting ready for her banquet. The two hour banquet, which consisted of a few song selections by the school choir, a keynote speaker, decent meal, and award presentation, was long and lovely, but she was glad, as most kids are (even teenagers) to have their mom is present at such special moments, of course taking pictures :)to capture the moment.

It was nearly 11PM when I was finally able to relax. Literally, I had been running around from the time I woke up that morning until we finally got home that night. It was a whirlwind of a day! But as tired as I was, I didn't regret a moment of it. With all the fussing and disciplining children that moms (and dads) have to do, moments when you know you're making them happy are so worth all the hard work. That makes it all worthwhile.