Weekend Recap of Indie Author L.A.

I didn't want to reschedule the appointment with my friends (my current editor and his wife), but I was backed into the corner of spousal obligation. Out of the blue my husband wanted to go out to Gilbaltar Trade Center after our pre scheduled breakfast date. Gilbraltar is a humongous trade center where sellers of just about everything you can think of (rare coins & stamps, jewelry, Avon, clothing, toys, guns, etc.) gather every Saturday and Sunday.

"Remember we're having company this afternoon." I said gently.

"We'll be back by 2." He assured me. So I text my friend's wife--she's the techy one--and advise her of the time change. I wait to hear back.



Excited about what I may find at the trade center, I decided to make the best of unfolding changes to my day. It's been many years since I've been out to Gilbraltar. I'm sure I've been there, at least once or twice, in my adult life but my strongest memories stem from childhood visits with my parents and older brother. The sharp dressing man that my dad is, I'm sure he was on the hunt for good deals on leather jackets while I was more excited about what I would go home with: books, charms for my bracelets I like to make, and materials for friendship bracelets and key chains.  Guess, I haven't changed much!


We set out in the wrong direction, unaware that the trade center in Taylor, Michigan had merged with the one in Mount Clemens. No biggie, though. We made a pit stop at Denny's for breakfast before heading in the opposite direction. My grand slam breakfast was delicious!

Over the forty minute drive, my husband enjoyed listening to tunes from his cell phone playlist while I enjoyed being on the passenger side, for a change, delving deeper into the one of the three Jessica Fletcher mystery novels that my daughter gave me for Christmas.

Sadly, my son wasn't as entertained as I because we don't one of those cars with built-in Wi-Fi. Poor baby. But he perked up once we made it to the trade center.



It was his first time--at least with me. He could have gone with my dad. In fact, I'm sure he did. My dad took him everywhere. Obviously, it wasn't as exciting for him as it was for me as a child. Kids of my son's generation are used to getting little trinkets in between birthdays and holidays.  I wasn't so fortunate--until those family trips to Gibraltar. Back then I was into friendship, charm bracelets, and Sweet Valley High books! And Gibraltar was chock full of everything my eyes could behold!



Nevertheless, my adult eyes weren't overly impressed. I left with a pair of gloves only because the sellers looked desperate for a sale. My son was happy with some fresh cider and fresh mini donuts.



From there we made a few other stops. Nothing of any significance. Unfortunately, my afternoon plans with my friend didn't work out. Honestly, I was pretty disturbed that I let my husband coerce me into changing my plans. Instead of pouting, though, I sucked it up. Sacrificing is a huge part of marriage. However, I WILL NOT be doing it again when I reschedule my plans so I hope my husband doesn't have anymore plans of disruption up his sleeve :))


Til Next Time,


L.A.

Shopping Follow-Up

I've had an epiphany! Yesterday, I realized I am the reason that I can't handle long shopping sessions with my daughter. You see, I begin with her needs in mind. However, the longer we stay in a particular store my eyes start wandering to my interests. And, once that starts, it's a done deal. It's like the sky becomes the limit and I start picking up pieces to add to my wardrobe. Before it's all said and done, in many cases, I've doubled what I would've spent had I just shopped for her!

The good thing is that I don't regret a thing. I can afford to treat myself that way because I don't embark on that many shopping trips. Even when I do, I am disciplined enough to not go overboard. For example, we were at Marshals yesterday. While my daughter was looking for school attire, I was browsing the assortment of cute tops and career separates. I found a sharp, brown Anne Klein pants suit and about 3 tops to match up with things I already have. The suit was soooo cute. But I'm trying to come away from buying so much beige, brown, and black in my wardrobe, so I was on the fence about buying it. Then I came across a nice, brown blazer. It appeared to be the same shade of brown as a pair of pants I already have and it was half the cost of the brown suit.

I put the suit back on the rack and walked away with the jacket and the three cute tops, one of which I just had to wear today. Oh yeah, my daughter got a few things, too.

We both left happy! Now that's what I call a successful shopping trip!

Shopping Woes

I love my daughter. I really, really do. But oh...my...God, I can't wait until I don't have to take her shopping anymore. Whenever we go, more often than not, both of us want to do nothing less than strangle the other. Is this just a me and my daughter thing or just a mother-daughter thing? Either way, I don't feel good about it.

The biggest part of the problem is my daughter and I are like night and day. Where she can spend hours upon hours in the mall, traipsing from one store to the other and back again, I can only withstand, maybe, one or two stores. The other problem is that I avoid spending large sums of money at one time.

My daughter would love for me to be like her paternal grandmother and one of her friend's mother's, who prefer to spend an entire day shopping for EVERYTHING needed for a particular reason (spring/summer, school clothes/supplies, fall/winter). For me, that's too much money to spend at one time. I like to have something in reserve for unplanned events rather than spending a large portion of my check on clothes. The way I see it, the clothes aren't going anywhere, so why do I need to buy them all at once. And, in this economy, the stores are always having sales.

Just like my daughter would love for me to be like someone else, I'd love the same of her. I wish she was more like I was when I was her age. I didn't give my mother anywhere close to the lip that she gives me when things aren't going her way. You know, I grew up in that "you don't have an opinion" era. When we went shopping, it was never because I bugged to her no end about it. We went when she said we went, and I was totally okay with that. Well, my daughter, is entirely too opinionated and vocal to be like that.

Since neither of us can change the other, what do we do? I'm sure she has no considerations of being a quiet, agreeable young lady, so I guess that leaves the changing up to me.

Believe me, I'm always thinking of how I can make these experiences more enjoyable for both of us. I've found that I do well when I'm prepared for shopping, mentally & financially. If I can be consistently firm on the issue, not taking her out when I really don't feel like it, I know things will be fine. Now, she may be unhappy when she can't go when she wants to, but she'll definitely benefit from shopping with a mother who's not frustrated and angry because she's doing something against her will.

In all of this, there is a light at the end of tunnel. My daughter is 14 years old--working age! If all goes according to plan, we've already got her summer job lined up. She'll have her own money and be able to spend it, somewhat, as she pleases. Yes! Yes! Yes! Honestly, I don't know which one of us is happier about that.

The Good Ole' Days

I'm wondering when did I become such a scaredy-cat when it comes to spending money. Five years ago, I had standing bi-weekly hair appointments. In the summer, I would at least treat myself to two or three pedicures in the summer time. I would treat my mom, sister, and my daughter to the movies on occasion. We'd go to breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And, the mall was a hangout--not just for window shopping either.

Now, I cringe when my, now, teenage daughter wants to go the mall. Although I want and need a pedicure, when I think about kicking out that $25 dollars compared to just painting my own toenails, I decide on the latter. Even though I wear my hair locked, I only see my loctician a few times a year, maintaining my own hair.

Did the economy reshape my spending priorities? Did maturity? Did having two children?

Whatever the case and cause, I know I miss those days. Even though I know my sights are set on more longterm gratifying things like a bigger house, college savings for my children, my personal savings, vacation (family & personal), I really want the best of both worlds. I'd love to get back to treating myself to regular hair appointments. I want regular pedicures! I want to hit the mall whenever a sale is going on, not just when I absolutely have to for the kids.

Thank God for patience and strength. Until I'm able to have the life I want, I make the best of the life I have. Where I can't shop ALL the time, on the occasion when I take the kids shopping for their necessities, I treat myself to a little something. Every now and then, the kids and I do go out for breakfast or dinner, bowling, and a movie (matinee or drive-ins). I'm comforted knowing my reward is on the way :)