Making the Best Of It

Anyone besides me have one or two people (grown-ups) in your family who have this retarded mindset that they don't have to have a job like every other adult??? Well, depending on how grown they are, you almost can't get mad at them because SOMEBODY has allowed them to think they can get away with living off of others, but that subject is another blog entry altogether. My purpose is to suggest how to make use of these family members so they do something purposeful with their lives.

PUT THEM TO WORK!!!

If you can't make them get a REAL job, make them useful for the family members who do work. For example, my loved one (and I do love him dearly) is really good with being available for the children. NO, HE'S NOT A PEDAFILE. He's extrememly helpful getting my son to school in the mornings while I get my oldest to school and myself to work. He even came through for me when my son was going to a school farther away from his house when his car was working.

During the summer months, I don't have to spend my weekends or time after work cleaning my yard because he can do it while I'm at work. When I need painting done in my house or minor repairs, if he can, he'll take care of it. Not only does that save me time, but it saves me money.

In our case, I've long given up on trying to figure out why this person has chosen this life. It's really not my place to do so. If they're happy, why shouldn't I be? Everyone has a place in this life. Right now, mine is working my current day job, writing in my free time, and raising my children. This other person, because of their chosen lifestyle, is in a position to help me as well as others in the family, so it's a win-win situation for our family.

Precious Moments

Yay! The kids are back to school and we all couldn't be happier. Like the wonderful mom that I am, I took some personal time off work just so I could see both of my children off to their first day. This entailed driving my daughter downtown to the nationally acclaimed Cass Technical High School, then back to the nortwest side of the city to where my son is attending the elementary school named after Detroit's longest term holding mayor, the late Coleman A. Young. Then, I was back downtown to start my workday. But who's complaining? Definitely not me. It's moments like these, for some reason, when I really get a adrenaline rush about being mom. God has BLESSED me so much to be able to be there for my children in ways many mom's can't. I'm very thankful for having a job where I have the flexibility to be present for important occasions like the first day of school, award ceremonies, field trips, etc. Kids feel special when their parents are there for them. Even though they may sometimes act like the material provisions their parents provide are supreme, but they value our presence just as much. A parents prescence is priceless for all interested parties.

Doing It Myself

Today is a perfect example of why I became a do-it-yourself girl a few years ago. My daughter went to the hairdresser this morning. She knew exactly how she wanted her hair to be styled. I told the hairdresser part of what she wanted and my daughter explained in greater detail after I left. Well, something went awry because when I picked my daughter up she was very dissatisfied. She liked the layers that her hairdresser cut, but the bangs and the back of her hair were cut too short. I didn't think it looked too bad. Trying to console her, I explained that she could simply pull the bangs back with a clip and just rock the layers until the bangs grew out to where she wanted them. I also used the moment to reiterate to her why I resigned to becoming my own hairstylists, amongst other things.

I would lose count trying to remember how many times I went to a hairdresser with a desired look in mind and leaving with something completely different. Honestly, I don't believe it's because these hairdressers didn't know what their doing, but rather they could create their version of what I wanted. The point is I was disappointed and I got tired of paying money not to get what I wanted.

Last year when I began locking my hair, I continued to be a do-it-yourself girl. I couldn't be happier. Not only do I get the satisfaction of accomplishing something on my own, I also save more money than I used to be able to getting my hair done bi-weekly at $35-$55 a pop. If you ask me, it can't get any better than that.

Shopping Follow-Up

I've had an epiphany! Yesterday, I realized I am the reason that I can't handle long shopping sessions with my daughter. You see, I begin with her needs in mind. However, the longer we stay in a particular store my eyes start wandering to my interests. And, once that starts, it's a done deal. It's like the sky becomes the limit and I start picking up pieces to add to my wardrobe. Before it's all said and done, in many cases, I've doubled what I would've spent had I just shopped for her!

The good thing is that I don't regret a thing. I can afford to treat myself that way because I don't embark on that many shopping trips. Even when I do, I am disciplined enough to not go overboard. For example, we were at Marshals yesterday. While my daughter was looking for school attire, I was browsing the assortment of cute tops and career separates. I found a sharp, brown Anne Klein pants suit and about 3 tops to match up with things I already have. The suit was soooo cute. But I'm trying to come away from buying so much beige, brown, and black in my wardrobe, so I was on the fence about buying it. Then I came across a nice, brown blazer. It appeared to be the same shade of brown as a pair of pants I already have and it was half the cost of the brown suit.

I put the suit back on the rack and walked away with the jacket and the three cute tops, one of which I just had to wear today. Oh yeah, my daughter got a few things, too.

We both left happy! Now that's what I call a successful shopping trip!

Shopping Woes

I love my daughter. I really, really do. But oh...my...God, I can't wait until I don't have to take her shopping anymore. Whenever we go, more often than not, both of us want to do nothing less than strangle the other. Is this just a me and my daughter thing or just a mother-daughter thing? Either way, I don't feel good about it.

The biggest part of the problem is my daughter and I are like night and day. Where she can spend hours upon hours in the mall, traipsing from one store to the other and back again, I can only withstand, maybe, one or two stores. The other problem is that I avoid spending large sums of money at one time.

My daughter would love for me to be like her paternal grandmother and one of her friend's mother's, who prefer to spend an entire day shopping for EVERYTHING needed for a particular reason (spring/summer, school clothes/supplies, fall/winter). For me, that's too much money to spend at one time. I like to have something in reserve for unplanned events rather than spending a large portion of my check on clothes. The way I see it, the clothes aren't going anywhere, so why do I need to buy them all at once. And, in this economy, the stores are always having sales.

Just like my daughter would love for me to be like someone else, I'd love the same of her. I wish she was more like I was when I was her age. I didn't give my mother anywhere close to the lip that she gives me when things aren't going her way. You know, I grew up in that "you don't have an opinion" era. When we went shopping, it was never because I bugged to her no end about it. We went when she said we went, and I was totally okay with that. Well, my daughter, is entirely too opinionated and vocal to be like that.

Since neither of us can change the other, what do we do? I'm sure she has no considerations of being a quiet, agreeable young lady, so I guess that leaves the changing up to me.

Believe me, I'm always thinking of how I can make these experiences more enjoyable for both of us. I've found that I do well when I'm prepared for shopping, mentally & financially. If I can be consistently firm on the issue, not taking her out when I really don't feel like it, I know things will be fine. Now, she may be unhappy when she can't go when she wants to, but she'll definitely benefit from shopping with a mother who's not frustrated and angry because she's doing something against her will.

In all of this, there is a light at the end of tunnel. My daughter is 14 years old--working age! If all goes according to plan, we've already got her summer job lined up. She'll have her own money and be able to spend it, somewhat, as she pleases. Yes! Yes! Yes! Honestly, I don't know which one of us is happier about that.

Chilling Out

Today when I got off work, I headed to my mom's to pick up my children. They'd spent the night over there. Well, I've been working early hours this week, and each day after work, there's been something to "do".

Not today, I declared to myself on the drive to mom's. Chilling out and relaxing is the name of my game for this evening. I'm even giving the kids a day off--actually, giving myself a break from barking out orders all evening long :) Kids would never believe it, but fussing can be overwhelmingly frustrating.

How can I not stop and enjoy the beauty of this summer evening? The humidity of the last few days is gone. Right now, I've got a nice, cool breeze coming through my windows. I'm posted up on the couch with my laptop, my iPhone, and a nice tall glass of water, preparing to watch one of my favorite programs. This is what summer is all about!

Saturday was the last day I went to the gym for a rigorous workout. Although, we're at the end of the week, I'm not pressing myself to hit the gym today or the workout on the RiverWalk, either. Nope. I'm chilling. If anything, I may take a nice walk after dinner, further enjoying the summer breeze. Then again, maybe I'll just continue relaxing on the couch.

I figure, since I can't take a vacation at a moments notice like I'd like, I at least owe myself a vacation from the, oftentimes, self-inflicted daily stresses of ripping and running after work.

Thank you Jesus!

WorkOut on the Riverwalk

Radio station, WGPR 107.5, has been hosting a weekly FREE health initiative, RiverWalk Workout, on Thursdays at 6PM. It's been going on since early June, I believe, but this past Thursday, was my first time participating.

Things started out cool. Donna McFay, radio personality, began with a brief warm up, followed with some stretches. Next, there was an option of a low impact cardio workout with her or a more advanced workout with professional trainer, Glenn Lot Jr.

I've had a personal training session with Glenn once before. I knew his workout wouldn't be a walk in the park, so when he lined those of us up who chose the more advanced workout, I prepared myself for the intensity to come. At least I thought, I'd prepared myself, but I had NO IDEA what was about to come.

Glenn said, "We're going to start with a light jog. Everybody line up. The goal is to keep up with the person in front of you," he said. "It's not a competition. Just do your best." Before we got started, someone asked how far we were going. "Aww, we ain't going nowhere." That was his first lie!

The light jogging was going okay, until we kept going, and going, and going. Eventually, I asked one of my fellows joggers, "How far are we going?

"To Cobo Hall," was one of the replies. Cobo Hall! I didn't know the exact distance, but I knew it was further than I could jog. I began losing my breath. I had to stop. I needed to walk. But it bothered me as I watched the others continue. However, I understand my body well enough to know when I need a break. So, I walked awhile before I got the courage to begin jogging again. When I finally reached the rest of the group, they were running up & down the stairs of Joe Louis Arena.

"Ohmigod," I said aloud. "That's alot of steps." Nonetheless, I was up for the challenge. Afterall, I was no stranger to stairclimbing. Just about every day, at work, I walk up & down 5 sets of stairs.

Hmph! There was no comparison. It was tough. I didn't make it all the way across, but I did the best I could. After the stairs, Glenn, directed the group in series of exercises, including hopping up the stairs, lunges, then jumping lunges, squats, then jumping squats. He had us do some other stuff, too. Unfortunately, by the time he was ready to move to perform some upper body work, I was DONE! I couldn't do anything more. I had pushed myself to MY max. That, I'm confident in, no matter how, intimidatingly, Glenn glared at me. I understand his role as a personal trainer to push the trainee. However, I, as the individual, must adhere to the signs of my body, and know when I need to slow down. I wasn't there to pass out from overexhertion.

At the end of the workout, I didn't want to look at Mr. Glenn Lot Jr. His attractiveness and bulging muscles were not enough to make me think pleasantly of him, at that time. Yes, I was that heated! I'd never exercised like that in my life. For real ! I was so burnt out, I didn't even think I was going to make it back to the group's starting point, let alone, be able to drive home. Trying to walk back to the group's starting point, I had to sit down, twice, to catch my breath and get my bearings.

By the time I made it home, I began to feel better. In fact, I was feeling quite accomplished. Although, I was unable to do EVERYTHING that Glenn instructed, I did put my best foot forward. I'd say I completed 85% of the workout. That's not bad for a first timer. Right?

I have some pretty high fitness goals. And it's gonna take intense workouts, such as the one I had on the RiverWalk with Glenn, to reach them. So, while the workouts are grueling, they're a necessary evil. And, once or twice a week of that kind of intensity is just what I need. Therefore, after all my groveling and complaining, Mr. Glenn Lot Jr will see my face on next Thursday.

We only have a few more weeks of summer. Come on down for the challenge.