The Nerve of Some People

When I awoke to a missed call on Father's Day morning from my ex-husband, a.k.a. my children's father, I figured that maybe he was calling to let me know that he was FINALLY going to give me some child support--smack in the forehead! What was I thinking??? It's only been about 4 months since he's provided some financial support. But, no. He was calling at 10AM to find out why his kids hadn't called him to wish him a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! Now, fellas, PLEASE don't get me wrong. I am by no means saying that he shouldn't expect his children to honor him on this day because he hasn't paid any child support. The thing is, not only is he not helping financially he also doesn't make a point to have any physical presence in his children's lives. He doesn't even do that when he does pay child support. Then, to make matters worse he goes into telling me the status of his failing marriage. He and his wife have been separated for about 4-5 months. Side note: they haven't even been married a year! According to him, she doesn't make time for him. She give him no attention. All she care about are her kids. The only thing she seems to want from him is sex and money. He can't stand that he gave his heart to her. The comment that sent me over the edge was when he said he doesn't think she's used to having her own man. That she's used to be somebody's woman on the side!

All the while he's talking I'm wondering why he's sharing this with me. After all I am the woman he was married to 4 years ago when there wasn't a faithful bone is his body. When I wanted him to spend time with me and OUR kids, he wanted us to go away. But with that last comment he made I couldn't help but wonder if it was possible that the woman he's currently married to could be the very woman he was cheating on me with!. Wouldn't that be some SH&T! I didn't even bother asking because it really doesn't matter. I have SOOOO moved on! Still, he had ALOT of nerve.

At the end of the day I had to treat myself to some laughs at a Father's Day comedy show. I needed the laugh :)

In  most cases I'm the one encouraging people to look to the brighter side of a situation, but you know, even I have my times of discouragement. And in those times it's usually my mother who is to me what I am to othesr. Like a lot of people, I'm upside in my mortgage. On top of that I NEED a bigger housee--notice the emphasis on "need". Right now I can't qualify for another mortgage on top of the one that I currently have. So where does that leave me--stuck! I absolutely hate that feeling. Here are the options I've considered: wait for my credit to improve, then apply for a second mortgage and rent my house; let my house go into foreclosure, then try to buy another house for cash; file bankruptcy, rent a house or apt and wait until I'm eligible to apply for another morgtage; stay put where I am and make it work for me.

Every option irks me for one reason or another. I absolutely DON'T want to be a landlord again, at least certainly not having a mortgage on the property. As far as waiting for my credit to improve, I don't know how long that's going to take and in the meantime I'm still stuck in my current house. Considering foreclosure makes nervous altogether because there seems to be no asurity that I won't be sought after years later for any monetary responsibility plus it just doesn't feel right to me. Lastly, renting is like a joke when you've been a home owner for nearly ten years IF you don't really have to go that route. Throwing money away is certainly option for me at this stage in my life. So where does that leave me?

Exactly in the place that my mother suggested to me today--my home. "You already have a home, Charmine. You just have to make it work until the situation changes," she says reassuringly. As she consoled me with this logic, I didn't want to agree aloud, but I knew she was right. My situation is not as bleak as I'd like to make it out to be. I'm a home owner. Sure I'd like more space, but as it currently stands I'm not in a position to buy a new house. And until I am I have to be greatful for what I have and I have to make the best of it.

Turning the Frown into a Smile

Here I go again. I've taken a vacation day from work and as good as I feel NOT being there, I'm almost just as, if not more, overwhelmed with my neglected domestic responsibilities! Seriously aggravating! I started off looking for my social security card, then I began putting away a heap of winter clothes (I think it's finally safe now) that's been growing in one of the corners of my bedroom. At the same time as this I'm washing summer clothes, looking for the container that contains my sandals AND making some spaghetti for dinner.

Side Note: Blogging, too!

And the bad thing about all of this is that the whole point of my taking the day off was to get some writing done on my upcoming novel. Even worse than that is that as I look around my house it doesn't appear as though I'm accomplishing anything and THAT really ticks me off.

But you know what, the pity party ends now! What Satan means for my bad God means for my good. So instead of looking at all that I'm not accomplishing, I'm going to look at the beauty of this day--literally and figuratively. It's absolutely georgeous outside. My kids are about to get out of school and we're in for a well-spent holiday weekend! And I will be writing this afternoon, so it's all good.

Yes! School's Almost Out

I don't express it aloud, but I'm just as happy as the kids are about the end of the school year quickly approaching. Although I'll still be working during the summer, since I didn't become a teacher like I should have, it'll be nice having my car to myself on the drive to work for a couple of months. Honestly, I won't be totally alone. My son will be going to day camp near my job, but he isn't nearly as disturbing as my teenage daughter and her friend who tags along for the ride. He won't complain about listening to talk radio in the morning. He's not going to ask to turn the radio off so he can tell me all of the plans he has that, by the way, are going to be funded by me. LOL. I've got at least another couple of years before he gets off into that. Hopefully:)

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter to pieces. Even more, I love her teenage excitement. It's just that as a single mom, I NEED some time alone every now and then. Since I don't have the benefit of an participating, non-custodial parent I have to treasure the little free time that I do get and that use to be my travel time to and from work. Therefore, I just may do that end of the school year barbeque my daughter requested of me. She just won't know that I'll be celebrating too!

Facebooking Your Teen

Although I've been my daugher's Facebook friend for about as long as she had her page, I don't visit it as often as I should. One would think that if your mom is your Facebook friend, one would consider that before each status update. Clearly, teens don't always use the good sense God gave them. When I needed to get a message to my daughter when her cell phone wasn't an option, Facebook was the next best thing because I knew she'd be checking her page shortly after she woke up this particular morning. Initially the message I was leaving only entailed her "to do" list for the day. However, after the things I'd come across on her page, it became necessary for me to advise her of some revisions she needed to make:

1.  Changing status from married to single! The chile' is 15 yrs old and has the nerve to be referring to herself as somebody's wife.

2. Just because you insert punctuation marks in place of a few letters in curse words, you're still cursing as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, she was pretty surprised that I was checking out her page and making her change stuff, but I explained to her that it's my job as her mom to make sure she's representing herself appropriately in every area of her life, even the World Wide Web. After that little experience, I decided to add her to my favorites on Facebook so I can keep up with her daily posts. Boy, the things a parent has to do!

Health Care Reform

I'm not a political blogger, but I couldn't very well allow the passage of the 1st Healthcare Reform Bill for the United States to occur without comment.On Monday morning, as I slowly came out of my sleep, the first thing I did was power on my iPhone to my email inbox and the first message was about the passage of the bill. I remember thinking, "Ok, cool." No big deal. Then I tuned into the news and immediatley learned how big of a deal it was. As of today, members of Congress have received threats against their lives in the form of phone calls, bricks being thrown through their windows. The brother of one Congressman--his address posted on a healthcare opposer's website-- even had a gas line to his home cut. This stuff is getting SERIOUS! I can't believe this hoopla is over such a humane effort as providing healthcare to ALL Americans. Of all the things we taxpayers have to pay for, healthcare for ALL Americans is one I'll gladly see come out of my paycheck.

Yesterday I almost suffered a relapse. If you've read any of my most recent posts you'll know that I recently decided to pull back from being a total DIY'er. I've signed up to have my certified Sisterloctian cousin begin maintaining my locs, my licensed esthetician cousin maintain my eyebrows, and a friend's nail technician perform my manicures & pedicures. Right?

Well, yesterday was my second appointment for my loc tightening. I set the appointment a week and a half ago, believing that Friday was the perfect day because it is the least likely day of the week that I have something to do. Long story short, this particular Friday didn't hold true to my rationale. The night before the appointment I learned that an activity that I really wanted to attend was happening the night of my evening appointment and my daughter had band practice after school, which would run directly in the middle of my hair appointment. Thing is, the new way that I'm having my locs maintained takes much longer than my twisting my locs. So, I was like immediately in a dilemma. My hair really couldn't stand being put on hold another week or two--well, it could have, BUT, I really didn't want it to. Also, the timing of my appointment and the time that my daughter would be finished practicing was in direct conflict. When I realized I was having all of these issues, I was trying to get in touch with my cousin to see how she could accomodate my needs HOWEVER I could not in touch with her. She wasn't answering her cell phone, house phone, or responding to my text. Naturally, the thought that kept floating around inside of my head was that none of this would be an issue if I was maintaining my own hair as I had been!!! As I frantically kept trying to reach my cousin, I fought those thoughts out of my head because I knew I made the right decision to stop relying on myself for everything. I DESERVED to have regular pampering sessions.

At the end of the day, everything worked out perfectly. I managed to reach my cousin, reschedule my appointment for earlier in the day--using some personal time off work, but it was worth it. My daughter's practice was cancelled and luckiliy my sister was in route from her job and was able to pick my daughter up on her way home. The earlier appointment time enabled me to be done much earlier than intended so I was able to attend that activity AND had a great time. Regardless of how well things worked out this time, my busy lifestyle is definitely indicative that this will not be the last time I will encounter such a schedule conflict. I'll just have to find a way to work around it then, too.