Delegating Gone Good

It seemed like a fine idea from the onset. But the nights following the idea my nights were becoming quite tumultuous. You'd probably think I was pondering some life altering decision like getting married or relocating my family to another state. Nope, not so. What was weighing on my mind so heavily was whether or not to allow my ex-husband to attend our son's school field trip?

Whoa! Whoa! Before you pounce on me let me explain my position. Although I'm not a dead beat dad basher, in my posts you could probably still gather that I am of the single parent status. Ever since our divorce after our first child was born my ex has never been a hands on kind of father. Even after we reconciled, had a second child together and divorced again, he's never stepped up his game with being an involved parent though he promised he would. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. The extent of his parental involvement has been from his semi-regular financial support and the occasional fun outings when he is so gracious as to share his off days with his children.

So, anyway, it's the beginning of the school year AND the near end of the calendar year, which leads to the reason why I needed my ex to go on this field trip in the first place. I'M OUT OF VACATION TIME!!! While my ex is always screeching about how he doesn't get any time off from his job I've always taken note of how he's off whenever he needs to go to court and stuff so I've always known he could get a day off with advance notice so I decided to call him on it and lo and behold he said okay. From that moment on I started wondering if I'd done the right thing.

For starters, our son was NOT going to be happy about this change in the game plan. Sure, his grandfather had chaperoned one of his field trips in Pre-K, but it's always been mom at his side (not that he'd been on that many field trips but I'm the one who's always been there). The last thing he expected or wanted was his dad to be there. "Mom, he's going to embarrass me," were the words of my son when I told him his dad was going on the trip. I translated his comment into, "My dad is going to yelling at me and being mean and my friends are going to be laughing at me." I'm almost sure that's what he meant.

In the back of my mind I was hoping (praying on occasion) that my ex backed out then that way I could do what I had to do and go on the field trip. At the same time, however, I was steadily trying to convince myself that he had just as much of an obligation to use his personal time from work for his children. After all, where do you think the majority of my vacation time went: doctors' appts, dentists appts, parent-teacher conferences, and other school functions. So in essence, it was about time he was doing something and I needed to be glad for it.

The field trip was yesterday. And down to the wire my son tried to coax me into going with him even if his stand still went. He just wanted his mom :)) In the end, I was steadfast in letting dad do his due dilegence and when I saw my son when I got off work he looked just as happy as when I dropped him off at school. I was like, "Cool. He had a good time." Then he looked up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes and said, "Mommy, can you go on my next field trip please?"

Time Out for Excuses

At some point it simply becomes time to stop making excuses. Initially I was going to begin this blog entry with an insult that I felt was bestowed upon me by a loved one. However, the truth is that it wasn't an insult, it was the truth--a truth that was hard to take from this particular person. Often times I complain about being too busy to do a lot of domestic stuff like cook dinner regularly and keeping my house clean and in order. I work full time. I have two children. I'm involved in many different activities and always on the look out for more. But the plain 'ole truth is that I just don't feel like doing it.  I have the best intentions to prepare healthy meals for my family, but I honestly don't have the energy after I get through running around after work. As for the house, I want it clean--even feel deeply agitated on the inside when it's not clean BUT again, I feel zapped by the end of the work day and when Saturday--the one day I don't HAVE to get up early--it's pretty easy to do other stuff. I quietly wish I was wealthy enough to have a cleaning service do it all while I run all around town doing the things that I really want to do. Who wouldn't prefer to have someone else clean their house??? I mean, besides the compulsive types, of course. But reality --whether we like it or not--is that, as the woman of the house it's my responsibility to maintain a clean home and teach my children to do the same. Therefore, I'm not going to allow myself to feel insulted by the comments that were made, but instead I will allow them to motivate me to get my butt in gear!

Slow Down...Yeah Right!

To call me "busy" is almost an understatement. I'm a single mom of two and I'm involved in several different activities. I'm a regular volunteer of a public service organization, book club facilitator and membership coordinator of a local community service organization, I'm a member & PR Director of an employee based organization, and I'm a member of a local writer's group. In addition to the organizations that I'm apart of, I also do plenty of activities with my children. We spend time with my parents, we go on walks, we go skating, we go bowling, we go to the movies. I'm hoping by the end of summer that we get some bike riding on the list too now that I finally replaced my daughter's bike. Anyway, between my organizations' activities and meetings and my activities with my children, there seems to be no time to just relax!

Now, maybe you're thinking, "Nobody told you to spread yourself so thin..." You're absolutely right. But you know what, now that I've started I don't know how to stop.