2011 Expectations

Wow! The new year is right around the corner--4 days to be exact. And I am reeling with contemplation for how I plan to enter the new decade. Now, I don't get off into the New Year's resolution thing but it's definitely time for a change on the inside and out. Here is a short list of changes I'm looking forward to for my 2011. Tell me some of yours.

1. Cleanliness & Orderliness--My bedroom and my desk at work have one significant thing in common--CLUTTER! Especially in my bedroom I oftentimes get overwhelmed with the stuff be around me that I can't sleep. This stuff ranges from Avon boxes, books, mail, shoes & boots that my closet can't contain. I've been so put off by my clutter that I've gone so far as to wake up 2 hrs before my normal time just so I could clean my room. At least once, I took the day off work to do the same thing. Sometimes I simply can't take it! Unfortunately I never get it quite to where I want it to be. I'm praying I get it together in 2011. I don't want to take lack of cleanliness and order to my bigger bedroom in my next house. I may take a day off work 12/31 just to get it done!

2. I feel a new 'do coming on. This goal is kind of tricky considering I've only been locked for 2 1/2 years, not to mention I'm not 100% on what I want to do with my hair oustide of locks, but I can't shake this antsy feeling. I've gone through this before--wanting them out. After careful consideration I've always come back to the realization that this is what's best for my hair. I have the length for versatility that I don't take enough advantage of. Plus, it's getting longer as the days go on. Thing is if I want the locks to be down by 1/1 (actually 12/30) I need to start the process of combing them out tonight. But what will I do with my hair without locks. I don't want to be like those I've known who've taken there locks out and immediately regretted it. So I'll have to think on this one. Maybe I just need to commit to keeping my roots tightened for a better look.  Update: See how quickly my mind can change in a 24 hr period. Revised goal is NOT to take my locks down but create a real hair regimen like moisturizing more often and keeping my roots twisted AND wearing crinkley locks more often.

3. An attitude of expectation. God's word promises to provide the NEEDS of HIS children. Guess what? I AM one of HIS children. So that means HE will provide my needs. Therefore, I will now have an attitude of expectancy instead of constantly thinking of what I don't have because HE will provide. For me specifically in 2011 I need a bigger house that is equally affordable as the one that I currently live in. I'm not sure of how the process is going to work BUT I expect it to work in my favor. And like Forest Gump said, "That's all I'm going to say about that."

4. Spiritual--I'm always in constant communication with God. However, somewhere along the lines I stopped getting down on my knees in prayer. I've been afraid of fasting. Today, the buck stops here. Actually, for the last two days I have gotten my butt out of bed, onto my knees and prayed. It felt good. I'll also be going back to Sunday school, which will be good for my children too.

5. Friends & Family. For years I've wanted certain kinds of relationships with the few friends that I've maintained over the years. You know, those Waiting to Exhale & Sex and the City type of friendships. But, in complete honesty I have not walked the walk. Wherever my friends are--out of state or in state with me--I truly appreciate their presence in my life and I plan to more of a concerted effort to show them as much.

6. Of course this post wouldn't be complete without my 2011 writing expectations!!! Simply put, WRITE MORE! SELL MORE!. By spring 2011 my follow up to Unfinished Business will be complete so by this time next year I expect to be midway through the third book.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Count the Little Blessings Too

God is always good. No doubt about that. But there some times when I feel especially favored by HIS good ness. Such a time was this past weekend. As I often do, I overextended my committments for this past weekend. First, on Friday, two graduation parties--one for a family member, the other for a friend. Second, on Saturday, a professional organization I'm involved with was scheduled to perform community service at 6:30 A.M. and after that I was supposed to have breakfast with a few of the members. Following breakfast, which I hoped would go quickly, I was to be at my church by noon to prepare Christmas baskets for the senior members of our church. Need I mention that this is also the last weekend before Christmas and I'd planned to get some shopping done too. Oh yes, then church on Sunday. I didn't know how I was going to do it all, but I was going to honor all of my committments!

What did God do for me that was so special??? Let me tell youl . Shortly before the first graduation party on Friday I received a text message from my coworker that there was a scheduling error for our community service date. Our service date was for the previous Saturday! As much I was disappointed that we had the date wrong and had therefore missed our opportunity to serve, words can't express how glad I was that I wouldn't have to awake at the crack of dawn to serve breakfast the next morning! Whew! One thing off my plate--actually two since the cancellation of the one automatically cancelled the breakfast plans. Then I received a phone call from the organizer of basket prep session that the time was actually 10AM instead of 12 noon so that meant I only had one thing to do on Saturday and I'd be finished with that early in the afternoon and would therefore have the rest of the day for me!

Nothing monumental but the little things count too!

Christmas Lists & Kids

I'm just curious--do you shop specifically off your kids Christmas list? For me, it depends on the age group of the child. This issue arose when my daughter kidded that my 6yr old might as well not make a list because I never buy anything off the list. Clearly as the big sister she has many fun facts to share with her little brother about me, which she gets quite a kick out of, I might add. In my defense, I try to buy a few things off my kids' list but let's be honest--at 6yrs old, don't kids want, like, EVERYTHING??? Seriously, when the first toy sales booklet came my son marked off just about every boy toy that was in it! What am I supposed to do with that??? Really? Certainly not buy him stuff I know he only wants for the pizzazz of it all. Therefore, I buy him stuff that I know he'll love just like my daughter did. Even she has to admit that I never bought her anything she didn't love!

It's Turkey Day

As usual I don't get excited about the Thanksgiving holiday until the day before. I'm telling you, the weekend before when I know I should be shopping for the BIG dinner I'm pretty synical in my thinking: "Why spend all this money to make all of this food and desserts for this one day? Just so folks can eat until they can't fit anymore into their stomachs and then complain about the pounds they're surely putting on?" With that kind of stuff floating around in my head I might buy something small like the cornish hen or somce turkey parts (I never cook with a whole bunch of people in mind). However, when the day before Thanksgiving arrives it's like I have this huge realization that "THANKSGIVING IS TOMORROW!!!" This is when I realize that my table is going to be seriously lacking if I don't get my butt in gear, right? So, Kroger (or whatever grocery store I choose) here I come...

Greens in the pot, cornbread in the over, cake ingredients on the kitchen counter, and turkey breast in the fridge...I'm ready to get down to the get down!

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the day being thankful!

Chillaxin Saturday--NOT

Somebody told me that I don't do anything. Huh? That couldn't be farther from the truth! The truth of the matter is that even when I'm not doing anything I'm doing something. Today, for example, I made a conscience decision to chill at home, maybe clean my bedroom which is always in need of attention and, of course, do a bit of writing.

At first I was going to plug into my book project, but I decided against it. I actually have made a lot of progress on it over the last week and I'm feeling pretty good about it. It's my blogging that I needed to catch up on. Maintaining three of them--I've got to stay on top of it. As a matter of fact when I finish this post I've got to complete one of the others I was working on this morning. I intended to get a little bit more accomplished online such as creating my mailing list, updating my website, add to my blog design, etc, but I was joyfully interrupted by the company of my four nephews and neice. It was my daughter's suggestion for them to come over for a visit since we don't get many visits because we're always the ones doing the visiting. Their ages ranging from eight to six months, it goes without saying that my attention was appropriately diverted from my original intentions. Nevertheless, I'm pleased with what I managed to accomplish.: clean room, style in progress for my lovely locs, and updated blog posts.

Now I'd better stop going on and on about how good this day was so that I can finish that other blog and take my butt to bed in preparation for tomorrow. If all goes well I'll get up early enough to go to Sunday School before church.

Delegating Gone Good

It seemed like a fine idea from the onset. But the nights following the idea my nights were becoming quite tumultuous. You'd probably think I was pondering some life altering decision like getting married or relocating my family to another state. Nope, not so. What was weighing on my mind so heavily was whether or not to allow my ex-husband to attend our son's school field trip?

Whoa! Whoa! Before you pounce on me let me explain my position. Although I'm not a dead beat dad basher, in my posts you could probably still gather that I am of the single parent status. Ever since our divorce after our first child was born my ex has never been a hands on kind of father. Even after we reconciled, had a second child together and divorced again, he's never stepped up his game with being an involved parent though he promised he would. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. The extent of his parental involvement has been from his semi-regular financial support and the occasional fun outings when he is so gracious as to share his off days with his children.

So, anyway, it's the beginning of the school year AND the near end of the calendar year, which leads to the reason why I needed my ex to go on this field trip in the first place. I'M OUT OF VACATION TIME!!! While my ex is always screeching about how he doesn't get any time off from his job I've always taken note of how he's off whenever he needs to go to court and stuff so I've always known he could get a day off with advance notice so I decided to call him on it and lo and behold he said okay. From that moment on I started wondering if I'd done the right thing.

For starters, our son was NOT going to be happy about this change in the game plan. Sure, his grandfather had chaperoned one of his field trips in Pre-K, but it's always been mom at his side (not that he'd been on that many field trips but I'm the one who's always been there). The last thing he expected or wanted was his dad to be there. "Mom, he's going to embarrass me," were the words of my son when I told him his dad was going on the trip. I translated his comment into, "My dad is going to yelling at me and being mean and my friends are going to be laughing at me." I'm almost sure that's what he meant.

In the back of my mind I was hoping (praying on occasion) that my ex backed out then that way I could do what I had to do and go on the field trip. At the same time, however, I was steadily trying to convince myself that he had just as much of an obligation to use his personal time from work for his children. After all, where do you think the majority of my vacation time went: doctors' appts, dentists appts, parent-teacher conferences, and other school functions. So in essence, it was about time he was doing something and I needed to be glad for it.

The field trip was yesterday. And down to the wire my son tried to coax me into going with him even if his stand still went. He just wanted his mom :)) In the end, I was steadfast in letting dad do his due dilegence and when I saw my son when I got off work he looked just as happy as when I dropped him off at school. I was like, "Cool. He had a good time." Then he looked up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes and said, "Mommy, can you go on my next field trip please?"

Time Out for Excuses

At some point it simply becomes time to stop making excuses. Initially I was going to begin this blog entry with an insult that I felt was bestowed upon me by a loved one. However, the truth is that it wasn't an insult, it was the truth--a truth that was hard to take from this particular person. Often times I complain about being too busy to do a lot of domestic stuff like cook dinner regularly and keeping my house clean and in order. I work full time. I have two children. I'm involved in many different activities and always on the look out for more. But the plain 'ole truth is that I just don't feel like doing it.  I have the best intentions to prepare healthy meals for my family, but I honestly don't have the energy after I get through running around after work. As for the house, I want it clean--even feel deeply agitated on the inside when it's not clean BUT again, I feel zapped by the end of the work day and when Saturday--the one day I don't HAVE to get up early--it's pretty easy to do other stuff. I quietly wish I was wealthy enough to have a cleaning service do it all while I run all around town doing the things that I really want to do. Who wouldn't prefer to have someone else clean their house??? I mean, besides the compulsive types, of course. But reality --whether we like it or not--is that, as the woman of the house it's my responsibility to maintain a clean home and teach my children to do the same. Therefore, I'm not going to allow myself to feel insulted by the comments that were made, but instead I will allow them to motivate me to get my butt in gear!