The Nerve of Some People

When I awoke to a missed call on Father's Day morning from my ex-husband, a.k.a. my children's father, I figured that maybe he was calling to let me know that he was FINALLY going to give me some child support--smack in the forehead! What was I thinking??? It's only been about 4 months since he's provided some financial support. But, no. He was calling at 10AM to find out why his kids hadn't called him to wish him a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! Now, fellas, PLEASE don't get me wrong. I am by no means saying that he shouldn't expect his children to honor him on this day because he hasn't paid any child support. The thing is, not only is he not helping financially he also doesn't make a point to have any physical presence in his children's lives. He doesn't even do that when he does pay child support. Then, to make matters worse he goes into telling me the status of his failing marriage. He and his wife have been separated for about 4-5 months. Side note: they haven't even been married a year! According to him, she doesn't make time for him. She give him no attention. All she care about are her kids. The only thing she seems to want from him is sex and money. He can't stand that he gave his heart to her. The comment that sent me over the edge was when he said he doesn't think she's used to having her own man. That she's used to be somebody's woman on the side!

All the while he's talking I'm wondering why he's sharing this with me. After all I am the woman he was married to 4 years ago when there wasn't a faithful bone is his body. When I wanted him to spend time with me and OUR kids, he wanted us to go away. But with that last comment he made I couldn't help but wonder if it was possible that the woman he's currently married to could be the very woman he was cheating on me with!. Wouldn't that be some SH&T! I didn't even bother asking because it really doesn't matter. I have SOOOO moved on! Still, he had ALOT of nerve.

At the end of the day I had to treat myself to some laughs at a Father's Day comedy show. I needed the laugh :)

In  most cases I'm the one encouraging people to look to the brighter side of a situation, but you know, even I have my times of discouragement. And in those times it's usually my mother who is to me what I am to othesr. Like a lot of people, I'm upside in my mortgage. On top of that I NEED a bigger housee--notice the emphasis on "need". Right now I can't qualify for another mortgage on top of the one that I currently have. So where does that leave me--stuck! I absolutely hate that feeling. Here are the options I've considered: wait for my credit to improve, then apply for a second mortgage and rent my house; let my house go into foreclosure, then try to buy another house for cash; file bankruptcy, rent a house or apt and wait until I'm eligible to apply for another morgtage; stay put where I am and make it work for me.

Every option irks me for one reason or another. I absolutely DON'T want to be a landlord again, at least certainly not having a mortgage on the property. As far as waiting for my credit to improve, I don't know how long that's going to take and in the meantime I'm still stuck in my current house. Considering foreclosure makes nervous altogether because there seems to be no asurity that I won't be sought after years later for any monetary responsibility plus it just doesn't feel right to me. Lastly, renting is like a joke when you've been a home owner for nearly ten years IF you don't really have to go that route. Throwing money away is certainly option for me at this stage in my life. So where does that leave me?

Exactly in the place that my mother suggested to me today--my home. "You already have a home, Charmine. You just have to make it work until the situation changes," she says reassuringly. As she consoled me with this logic, I didn't want to agree aloud, but I knew she was right. My situation is not as bleak as I'd like to make it out to be. I'm a home owner. Sure I'd like more space, but as it currently stands I'm not in a position to buy a new house. And until I am I have to be greatful for what I have and I have to make the best of it.

Turning the Frown into a Smile

Here I go again. I've taken a vacation day from work and as good as I feel NOT being there, I'm almost just as, if not more, overwhelmed with my neglected domestic responsibilities! Seriously aggravating! I started off looking for my social security card, then I began putting away a heap of winter clothes (I think it's finally safe now) that's been growing in one of the corners of my bedroom. At the same time as this I'm washing summer clothes, looking for the container that contains my sandals AND making some spaghetti for dinner.

Side Note: Blogging, too!

And the bad thing about all of this is that the whole point of my taking the day off was to get some writing done on my upcoming novel. Even worse than that is that as I look around my house it doesn't appear as though I'm accomplishing anything and THAT really ticks me off.

But you know what, the pity party ends now! What Satan means for my bad God means for my good. So instead of looking at all that I'm not accomplishing, I'm going to look at the beauty of this day--literally and figuratively. It's absolutely georgeous outside. My kids are about to get out of school and we're in for a well-spent holiday weekend! And I will be writing this afternoon, so it's all good.

Yes! School's Almost Out

I don't express it aloud, but I'm just as happy as the kids are about the end of the school year quickly approaching. Although I'll still be working during the summer, since I didn't become a teacher like I should have, it'll be nice having my car to myself on the drive to work for a couple of months. Honestly, I won't be totally alone. My son will be going to day camp near my job, but he isn't nearly as disturbing as my teenage daughter and her friend who tags along for the ride. He won't complain about listening to talk radio in the morning. He's not going to ask to turn the radio off so he can tell me all of the plans he has that, by the way, are going to be funded by me. LOL. I've got at least another couple of years before he gets off into that. Hopefully:)

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter to pieces. Even more, I love her teenage excitement. It's just that as a single mom, I NEED some time alone every now and then. Since I don't have the benefit of an participating, non-custodial parent I have to treasure the little free time that I do get and that use to be my travel time to and from work. Therefore, I just may do that end of the school year barbeque my daughter requested of me. She just won't know that I'll be celebrating too!